[SALFORD RED]

Best summer move

Robinho, finally lived the dream.

• 31 August: 'My dream is Chelsea. They are great and my objective is to play there. I've got nothing against Real, but my head is at Chelsea. It's not about money, I simply want to go, as I have said so many times.'

• 2 September: Joins Man City - £160k-a-week. 'I am very happy!'

Best non-move

• 29 June, Gareth Barry: 'My mind's made up, I want to join Liverpool. There's no going back, it's just time for me to go. Have Villa offered anything to try to persuade me my future is at Villa Park, not Anfield? Not a thing.'

• 31 August, Gareth Barry. 'I'm 100 per cent for Villa. The continual speculation dragged on all summer, but I'm strong mentally.'

And finally

• July, George McCartney: 'I have no desire to leave West Ham. When clubs show an interest it's flattering but I haven't given Sunderland any consideration. I'm a West Ham player.'

• September: Joins Sunderland.

Other news: FA fine of the week

£25k: Joey Barton's FA fine for ABH on Ousmane Dabo. Dabo was hospitalised with head trauma; Barton given four-month suspended sentence. 60: Number of hours it'll take him to earn it back.

Scandal of the week

23-year-old VfvB Ruhrort/Laar star Sezgin Oshan: suspended after 'displaying himself' in a team photo published in local paper Neue Ruhr Zeitung. German press dubbed the row '*****-scandal'. FA spokesman Wolfgang Jades said Oshan was 'depraved' and that his action would 'stun children'. Oshan says he's 'feeling sad'. 'I'd like to apologise for my club-hurting behaviour.'

Diego: tribute of the week

Diego Maradona says Lionel Messi 'turns me on, as a man.' 'Watching him is intercourse. Of all the pretenders who try to be like me, he's the closest. For me, he's an orgasm.'

Best loser

Italian club Limite e Capraia say they've suspended an unnamed 17-year-old player for urinating in a trophy which his team had just lost. A competition statement said: 'It was not possible to proceed with the trophy presentation because a player was found to be urinating into it. As it is the tradition for winning players to drink from the trophy, we decided not to go ahead.'

.