[Anderson's God]

Four surgeons are taking a coffee break:

1st surgeon says "Accountants are the best to operate on because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered."

2nd surgeon says "Nah, librarians are the best. Everything inside them is in alphabetical order."

3rd surgeon says "Try electricians, man! Everything inside them is colour coded."

4th surgeon says "I prefer Chelsea fans. They're heartless, spineless, gutless and their heads and a**es are interchangeable."

Unconfirmed reports from stamford bridge say that Chelsea will be releasing a new record at the end of the week, "I'm forever blowing Doubles"!

There was this group of people on a tour-bus. The guide on the bus asked if anyone on the bus could tell the rest a joke, whereupon a man got up and said that he could tell a Leeds joke.
Suddenly a bloke in the back of the bus said, "No, don`t do that. I`m a Leeds fan."
The guide looked at him and said, "That`s okay. We`ll explain it to you afterwards."


A nurse at Leeds General Infirmary told an industrial tribunalhow she tried to stop the fight between two top doctors which resulted in one of them being sacked by the hospital."I pulled them apart" said sexy Jane Adams, 21, "and could see Dr Jones was in tears. I asked him what it was about and he sobbed 'It's that man on D-ward, you know, that one with the Man United pyjamas. Doctor Smith has just told him that he's only got two weeks left to live'. I told him there was nothing more we could do for him and he had to be told. Dr Jones said 'I know that, but I wanted to tell the *******'" The incident follows a complaint from a patient in September of last year when Dr Jones told a cancer victim he had some good news and some bad news "The bad news is you're going to die" "and the good news ?" asked the downcast patient "we beat the scum 2-1 !"