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SALFORD RED
22-05-2008, 10:46 PM
Groups of teenage youths all over the UK have issued formal complaints to their local councilors about the ‘threatening behaviour’ of elderly people within their community.

‘It’s getting intolerable’, said Shane, 13. ‘They take over the bus shelters, shout loudly to each other and even get on the bus without paying. How do they get away with it? Some people even get up and offer their seats to them because they’re so afraid.’

One youth, who wished to remain unnamed, said she would sometimes cross over the street when she saw a group of elderly people approaching.

‘You can spot them a mile off. They’ve got this kind of uniform they wear and a way they walk so they all look the same and can recognize each other. You can easily tell the ones to really avoid by the beige jackets and matching trousers; they’re the really dangerous ones,’ she added. ‘I hate it when they wear those tweed caps and headscarves so you can’t see their faces properly, it’s quite intimidating.’

There have also been rumours of organised dog fights in local parks, where elderly gangs assemble with their poodles and Yorkshire terriers for the alleged dog baiting.

There has been several reports of Gran Racers organising illegal street races
in shopping centres and local parks resulting in at least one minor accident
resulting in injuries to a teenagers foot.

But local police have so far seemed powerless to act against the pensioner gangs even after recent reports of drug dealing in the town centre.

‘It’s shocking – they go out and openly score pills for arthritis, heart conditions and angina,’ said Shane. ‘One pensioner was also seen openly using a pipe with suspected drugs concealed in a ‘Three Nuns’ tobacco packet.’

This has got to be stopped but as soon as these elderly menaces are moved
along or dispersed they congregate in other areas such as jumble sales or
church coffee mornings.

Police recently closed down two illegal morning tea dances and confiscated gramaphone records after complaints about noise and rowdy behaviour.

No arrests were made after all suspects fled the scene on their mobility scooters or customized zimmer frames.
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Jazz 16
22-05-2008, 10:51 PM
Jeese Sal, you old folk are just a bloody disgrace :D

Teveth_32
23-05-2008, 12:32 AM
This has to be some sort of a joke.

-zuco-
23-05-2008, 01:31 AM
This has to be some sort of a joke.

You think? :rolleyes:

Forever_United
23-05-2008, 01:50 AM
i thought it was serious until about half way haha :D

RedForceRising
23-05-2008, 06:20 AM
Ah....I can't wait to grow old......
What was that Beach Boys song? .....

Wouldn't it be nice, if we were older.......


And the Beatles....

When I get older, losing my hair, many years from now..
Will you still be sending me Valentines, birthday greeting bottles of wine....or pills ....or stuff to smoke at the bus shelter while I scream loudly at young people and wolf whistle at young babes....