OK ! We all get them so...

[SALFORD RED]

Lets have a thread with crazy/strange/weird emails that you get in your inbox or spam folders.
Here's two i got in the last couple of days.


he played down his religion. None of his intellectual ideas sprangFor the next three and a half hours, Soros then spoke about
Jewishness. He had become a huge success in the business world, andCompany Holding value Shares owned Finally you will never have a problem with your size any more.We have a solution that will make all your 'se^xual desires real.
Leave behind what you've seen earlier. The new era for you has come!
Women will go crazy!
Friends will be jealous!
And you will Finally your new life! Like a real man with a real *****!
Use MegaDik and enjoy your new size!

Just click here and have the ***** you alwayswanted!


Burlington Resources 305,000 592,000

Second one..

".bomb threat was phoned into the school.
prosecutor is reported to have connections to a numberalready and are ready to go and we have hundreds more on the fairy tree replied " oh but it wont get any bigger. the knights will solve the riddle moats no boats shall see and cantell you are
the price she cried bookedon the sides micha went nowwomen can be mens.keys and type no where to see The price is not to muchto pay.
All can be yours in one click here.
Burlington Resources 305,567 592,490


All copy and pasted from real emails, don't make any up.

.

[chiboygeorge]

LMAO....

Women will go crazy... lol

[carlyluvsunited]

Just click here and have the ***** you alwayswanted!

It can be 30cm long - but if you don't know what to do with it
then forget it :D :D

[carlyluvsunited]

I had this forward to me by email.

Not an 'actual' email but it was soooo funny had to show you all......

This shows details concerning Qantas Airlines.

And for the record they have never had a plane crashing !!

After every flight, pilots fill out a form called a gripe sheet, which conveys to the mechanics any problem they had with the airplane during the flight.

The mechanics read and correct the problem, and then explain in writing on the lower half of the form what remedial action was taken.

The pilot reviews the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humor.

Here are some 'actual' maintenance problems submitted by Qantas pilots and the solutions recorded by maintenance engineers.

By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident.

(P = The problem logged by the pilot)
(S = The solution and action taken by the engineer)


P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in ****pit.
S: Something tightened in ****pit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200
feet-per-minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for.

P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be
serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in ****pit.
S: Cat installed.

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds
like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget

[pilkytm]

Hahaha :d

[ARBUCKS]

:confused: :confused: Just got this through!!

CWTE: C'Watre International, Inc
Trade Alert. CWTE just announced trading on the OTC. CWTE has the potential to return 5 times your money with this tight capital structure.
This means the stock can see $1.50 when news is realesed. CWTE has a womens line of ageless cosmetics that is overwhelming the celebrity industry. Keep an eye for news to hit the market and create a frenzy in this stock. When investors find out who's using it, the stock could go well beyond our target.

darbu, contact your broker NOW for CWTE!
psyllevs
psnotloc
prowegni
puimurin
psbouwer
pseudart

[Anderson's God]

Thats brilliant Carly!

[ARBUCKS]

Carly that had me in stickes!!! LMAO! Excellent!

[andycole9]

It can be 30cm long - but if you don't know what to do with it
then forget it :D :D
i agree carly, i have a 2 inch nail but i have a 16 stone hammer to hammer it in ;)

[PrinceZane]

From: myk vareyka <mykvareyka@adesign.info>
Date: Oct 01, 2007 9:06 AM
Subject: oksistaa
To: <me>

http://slekk.com/
Wazzup princezane
I always wanted a bigger schlong
myk vareyka