haggler
25-01-2008, 01:29 AM
Melons, eggs and mountains: the British sporting year in quotes
My dear, my ***** is a mountain -- Translation of "Mila kura si planina" - as opposed to the correct words to the Croatian national anthem "Mila kuda si planina" ["You know my dear how we love your mountains"] - sung by opera singer Tony Henry before the game against England at Wembley.
He has won an Olympic silver medal and you can't do better than that -- Graham Earl, before his December defeat to Amir Khan, on his opponent.
This is the icing on the gravy -- Lucas Glover, American golfer, on qualifying for the Open Championship.
An absolute holocaust -- Carlton Palmer, BBC pundit, on Sunderland's defending during the 7-1 defeat to Everton.
It looks like he's pulled a rabbit out of the bag -- David Pleat, ITV pundit,on the astute tactics of the Tottenham Hotspur manager Juande Ramos.
As the old saying goes,people in glasses shouldn't throw stones -- Alan Smith, Sky Sports pundit.
I'm 30 now but back then I was 19. That's seven years ago -- Lee Bowyer, footballer, now of West Ham United, on the infamous chair-throwing incident at a branch of McDonald's in 1996.
Put **** hanging from a stick in the middle of this passionate, crazy stadium and there are people who will tell you it's a work of art. It's not, it's **** hanging from a stick -- Jorge Valdano, Real Madrid technical director, on Liverpool's brand of football.
It doesn't matter whether it's cricket, rugby union, rugby league - we all hate England -- John O'Neill, Australian RU chief executive, before the World Cup quarter-finals.
The fire is always ready but now it looks as though you are burned on the village green quicker than ever before -- Arsene Wenger, Arsenal manager, on the managerial merry-go-round.
I held a meeting with my players. I told them about the agent and that allegedly he had paid some of his fee to the player. All of them wanted his phone number because theyhad never heard of an agent who wanted to givea player any money -- Harry Redknapp, Portsmouth manager, after being questioned by police over alleged corruption.
It's just a game of football. There are 1.2bn people in India who couldn't give a **** what happens to Reading -- Steve Coppell, Reading manager, after a defeat.
If we go up, I will do a striptease -- Sophia Loren, actress and Napoli fan. They did, she didn't.
Young players are a little bit like melons ... Sometimes you have beautiful melons but they don't taste very good and some other melons are a bit ugly and when you open them, the taste is fantastic -- Jose Mourinho, then Chelsea manager.
Omelette, eggs. No eggs, no omelettes. It depends on the quality of the eggs -- Mourinho on his Chelsea squad.
This was as good as I could have been -- Tim Henman announces his retirement from tennis.
They will have a problem with speech. Apart from that the lads could unexpectedly have problems between their legs. Nothing serious. Simply some small discomfort, lethargy, ache - and, if all goes according to my plan, an itch. - - Haitian priestess on the ultimately unnecessary curse she put on England ahead of the crucial European Championship qualifier in Russia.
I had 52 messages on my phone within an hour of the final whistle and some were from people I'd never heard of, which was a bit worrying -- Brian Ashton, England rugby union coach, after the World Cup quarter-final win over Australia.
If you guys can't beat those French *******s, it's a waste of time for all of us -- Kenny Rogers, country singer, to the England RU team, who had adopted his song "The Gambler", before the semi-final.
It had nothing to do with money. I was simply having a lot of fun. It was exciting to be in the trenches, to be at World Championships and Olympics and Super Bowls. - - Victor Conte, former owner of the BALCO laboratory, on why he became involved with performance-enhancing drugs.
I couldn't find London on a map if they didn't have the names of the countries. I swear to God I don't know what nothing is. I know [the Washington Redskins linebacker] London Fletcher. He's black, so I'm sure he's not from London -- Channing Crowder, Miami Dolphins linebacker, before the NFL game against New York Giants at Wembley.
I'm worried he'll portray me as an idiot on skis -- Eddie "The Eagle" Edwards, former Olympic ski jumper, on the plan for Steve Coogan to play him in a film.
Some players have psychologists, some have sportologists. I smoke -- Angel Cabrera, golfer, after winning the US Open.
Ninety-nine per cent of the letters and e-mails are supporting us and that's not bad. That's as good as Saddam Hussein did, and he was fiddling the figures -- Ken Bates after retaining control at Leeds United.
The lads will be having a conversation and he'll write down the words. Five minutes later he's laughing -- Darel Russell, of Norwich, on his Czech Republic team-mate, David Strihavka.
We sing better than your wife -- DC United fans to LA Galaxy's David Beckham.
I am not "The Special One". I'm the Normal One. But my wife says I am special -- Avram Grant, Jose Mourinho's replacement at Chelsea, in his first press conference.
I don't think she should be planning any weddings -- Manchester City spokesman, on allegations of Sven Goran Eriksson's affair with a Manchester woman, Marisa Cauchi.
I feel like a woman at the minute. I can't stop crying. All that's missing is a pair of tits -- Ricky Hatton, boxer, after losing to Floyd Mayweather in Las Vegas this month.
Chokin' freakin' dogs -- Dottie Pepper, former US Solheim Cup golfer, on the present American team, inadvertently on air during this year's event in Sweden (won by the US).
They searched the house and took a computer away that I bought my wife two years ago - I think she learnt to turn it on four weeks ago -- Harry Redknapp, Portsmouth manager, after the police raid on his house during an investigation into alleged football corruption.
It's the worst Olympic image since Fatima Whitbread bent down to pick up that javelin -- Alan Carr, comedian, on the London 2012 logo.
I know my place. I'd love to be more famous but as a female cyclist I don'tstand a chance -- Victoria Pendleton, triple world track champion.
The wife did not teach the husband to swing a golf club -- From Greg Norman's divorce petition challenging his wife's claim to half of his fortune.
My dear, my ***** is a mountain -- Translation of "Mila kura si planina" - as opposed to the correct words to the Croatian national anthem "Mila kuda si planina" ["You know my dear how we love your mountains"] - sung by opera singer Tony Henry before the game against England at Wembley.
He has won an Olympic silver medal and you can't do better than that -- Graham Earl, before his December defeat to Amir Khan, on his opponent.
This is the icing on the gravy -- Lucas Glover, American golfer, on qualifying for the Open Championship.
An absolute holocaust -- Carlton Palmer, BBC pundit, on Sunderland's defending during the 7-1 defeat to Everton.
It looks like he's pulled a rabbit out of the bag -- David Pleat, ITV pundit,on the astute tactics of the Tottenham Hotspur manager Juande Ramos.
As the old saying goes,people in glasses shouldn't throw stones -- Alan Smith, Sky Sports pundit.
I'm 30 now but back then I was 19. That's seven years ago -- Lee Bowyer, footballer, now of West Ham United, on the infamous chair-throwing incident at a branch of McDonald's in 1996.
Put **** hanging from a stick in the middle of this passionate, crazy stadium and there are people who will tell you it's a work of art. It's not, it's **** hanging from a stick -- Jorge Valdano, Real Madrid technical director, on Liverpool's brand of football.
It doesn't matter whether it's cricket, rugby union, rugby league - we all hate England -- John O'Neill, Australian RU chief executive, before the World Cup quarter-finals.
The fire is always ready but now it looks as though you are burned on the village green quicker than ever before -- Arsene Wenger, Arsenal manager, on the managerial merry-go-round.
I held a meeting with my players. I told them about the agent and that allegedly he had paid some of his fee to the player. All of them wanted his phone number because theyhad never heard of an agent who wanted to givea player any money -- Harry Redknapp, Portsmouth manager, after being questioned by police over alleged corruption.
It's just a game of football. There are 1.2bn people in India who couldn't give a **** what happens to Reading -- Steve Coppell, Reading manager, after a defeat.
If we go up, I will do a striptease -- Sophia Loren, actress and Napoli fan. They did, she didn't.
Young players are a little bit like melons ... Sometimes you have beautiful melons but they don't taste very good and some other melons are a bit ugly and when you open them, the taste is fantastic -- Jose Mourinho, then Chelsea manager.
Omelette, eggs. No eggs, no omelettes. It depends on the quality of the eggs -- Mourinho on his Chelsea squad.
This was as good as I could have been -- Tim Henman announces his retirement from tennis.
They will have a problem with speech. Apart from that the lads could unexpectedly have problems between their legs. Nothing serious. Simply some small discomfort, lethargy, ache - and, if all goes according to my plan, an itch. - - Haitian priestess on the ultimately unnecessary curse she put on England ahead of the crucial European Championship qualifier in Russia.
I had 52 messages on my phone within an hour of the final whistle and some were from people I'd never heard of, which was a bit worrying -- Brian Ashton, England rugby union coach, after the World Cup quarter-final win over Australia.
If you guys can't beat those French *******s, it's a waste of time for all of us -- Kenny Rogers, country singer, to the England RU team, who had adopted his song "The Gambler", before the semi-final.
It had nothing to do with money. I was simply having a lot of fun. It was exciting to be in the trenches, to be at World Championships and Olympics and Super Bowls. - - Victor Conte, former owner of the BALCO laboratory, on why he became involved with performance-enhancing drugs.
I couldn't find London on a map if they didn't have the names of the countries. I swear to God I don't know what nothing is. I know [the Washington Redskins linebacker] London Fletcher. He's black, so I'm sure he's not from London -- Channing Crowder, Miami Dolphins linebacker, before the NFL game against New York Giants at Wembley.
I'm worried he'll portray me as an idiot on skis -- Eddie "The Eagle" Edwards, former Olympic ski jumper, on the plan for Steve Coogan to play him in a film.
Some players have psychologists, some have sportologists. I smoke -- Angel Cabrera, golfer, after winning the US Open.
Ninety-nine per cent of the letters and e-mails are supporting us and that's not bad. That's as good as Saddam Hussein did, and he was fiddling the figures -- Ken Bates after retaining control at Leeds United.
The lads will be having a conversation and he'll write down the words. Five minutes later he's laughing -- Darel Russell, of Norwich, on his Czech Republic team-mate, David Strihavka.
We sing better than your wife -- DC United fans to LA Galaxy's David Beckham.
I am not "The Special One". I'm the Normal One. But my wife says I am special -- Avram Grant, Jose Mourinho's replacement at Chelsea, in his first press conference.
I don't think she should be planning any weddings -- Manchester City spokesman, on allegations of Sven Goran Eriksson's affair with a Manchester woman, Marisa Cauchi.
I feel like a woman at the minute. I can't stop crying. All that's missing is a pair of tits -- Ricky Hatton, boxer, after losing to Floyd Mayweather in Las Vegas this month.
Chokin' freakin' dogs -- Dottie Pepper, former US Solheim Cup golfer, on the present American team, inadvertently on air during this year's event in Sweden (won by the US).
They searched the house and took a computer away that I bought my wife two years ago - I think she learnt to turn it on four weeks ago -- Harry Redknapp, Portsmouth manager, after the police raid on his house during an investigation into alleged football corruption.
It's the worst Olympic image since Fatima Whitbread bent down to pick up that javelin -- Alan Carr, comedian, on the London 2012 logo.
I know my place. I'd love to be more famous but as a female cyclist I don'tstand a chance -- Victoria Pendleton, triple world track champion.
The wife did not teach the husband to swing a golf club -- From Greg Norman's divorce petition challenging his wife's claim to half of his fortune.