-zuco-
13-04-2008, 07:20 PM
Almost posted this in the pub considering it's a true story and not an
actual joke, but it made me laugh so what the hell :D
Possibly the funniest story in a long while. This is a bricklayer's accident
report, which was printed in the newsletter of the American Insurance
Journal. This is a true story. Had this guy died, he'd have received a
Darwin Award for sure..
Dear Sir:
I am writing in response to your request for additional information in Block
3 of the accident report form. I put "poor planning" as the cause of my
accident. You asked for a fuller explanation and I trust the following
details will be sufficient.
I was alone on the roof of a new six-story building. When I completed my
work, I found that I had some bricks left over which, when weighed later,
were found to be slightly more than 500 lb.. Rather than carry the bricks
down by hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley, which
was attached to the side of the building on the sixth floor.
Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the barrel
out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down and untied the rope,
holding it tightly to ensure a slow descent of the bricks.
You will note in Block 11 of the accident report form, that I weigh 135
lb...
Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my
presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I
proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building.
In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel, which was now
proceeding downward at an equally impressive speed. This explains the
fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken collarbone, as listed in
section 3 of the accident report form.
Slowed down slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the
fingers on my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley. Fortunately
by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly
to the rope, in spite of beginning to experience a great deal of pain.
At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground
and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now devoid of the weight of the
bricks, that barrel weighed approximately 50 lb..
I refer you again to my weight...As you can imagine, I began a rapid descent
down the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor , I met
the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken
tooth and several lacerations of my legs and lower body.
Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the barrel seemed
to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile of bricks
and fortunately, only three vertebrae were cracked.
I am sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks, in
pain, unable to move, I again lost my composure and presence of mind and let
go of the rope. I then lay there watching the empty barrel beginning its
journey back down onto me. This explains the two broken legs.
I hope this answers your questions
actual joke, but it made me laugh so what the hell :D
Possibly the funniest story in a long while. This is a bricklayer's accident
report, which was printed in the newsletter of the American Insurance
Journal. This is a true story. Had this guy died, he'd have received a
Darwin Award for sure..
Dear Sir:
I am writing in response to your request for additional information in Block
3 of the accident report form. I put "poor planning" as the cause of my
accident. You asked for a fuller explanation and I trust the following
details will be sufficient.
I was alone on the roof of a new six-story building. When I completed my
work, I found that I had some bricks left over which, when weighed later,
were found to be slightly more than 500 lb.. Rather than carry the bricks
down by hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley, which
was attached to the side of the building on the sixth floor.
Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the barrel
out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down and untied the rope,
holding it tightly to ensure a slow descent of the bricks.
You will note in Block 11 of the accident report form, that I weigh 135
lb...
Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my
presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I
proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building.
In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel, which was now
proceeding downward at an equally impressive speed. This explains the
fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken collarbone, as listed in
section 3 of the accident report form.
Slowed down slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the
fingers on my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley. Fortunately
by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly
to the rope, in spite of beginning to experience a great deal of pain.
At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground
and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now devoid of the weight of the
bricks, that barrel weighed approximately 50 lb..
I refer you again to my weight...As you can imagine, I began a rapid descent
down the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor , I met
the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken
tooth and several lacerations of my legs and lower body.
Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the barrel seemed
to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile of bricks
and fortunately, only three vertebrae were cracked.
I am sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks, in
pain, unable to move, I again lost my composure and presence of mind and let
go of the rope. I then lay there watching the empty barrel beginning its
journey back down onto me. This explains the two broken legs.
I hope this answers your questions