Manchester United

Go Back   Manchester United Forums > Entertainment > Jokes Section

User Name
Password Register
 Home Arcade  Forums Register FAQ Members List Calendar Betting Mark Forums Read

Not a member of our Manchester United Forums yet?.

Manutdtalk is a dedicated site for all Manchester United Fans, run by Manchester United fans, Join up to be part of the community for the best football club in the world, its free

Registration takes a few seconds, its so simple, click here to join today!

If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact support.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 02-06-2008, 02:41 AM   #1
versa
World Cup Winner
 

Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Far East
Posts: 3,954
vCash: 2100
versa is on a distinguished road
The Best Genie Joke

A husband takes his wife to play her first game of golf. Of course, the wife promptly hacked her first shot right through the window of the biggest house adjacent to the course.

The husband cringed, 'I warned you to be careful! Now we'll have to go up there, find the owner, apologize and see how much your lousy drive is going to cost us.'

So the couple walked up to the house and knocked on the door.

A warm voice said, 'Come on in.'

When they opened the door they saw the damage that was done: glass was all over the place, and a broken antique bottle was lying on its side near the pieces of window glass.

A man reclining on the couch asked, 'Are you the people that broke my window?'

'Uh...yeah, sir. We're sure sorry about that,' the husband replied.

'Oh, no apology is necessary! Actually I want to thank you. You see, I'm a genie, and I've been trapped in that bottle for a thousand years. Now that you've released me, I'm allowed to grant three wishes. I'll give you each one wish, but if you don't mind, I'll keep the last one for myself.'

Wow, that's great!' the husband said. He pondered a moment and blurted out, 'I'd like a million dollars a year for the rest of my life.'

'No problem,' said the genie. 'You've got it, it's the least I can do. And I'll guarantee you a long, healthy life!'

'And now you, young lady, what do you want?' the genie asked.

'I'd like to own a gorgeous home complete with servants in every country in the world,' she said.

'Consider it done,' the genie said.. 'And your homes will always be safe from fire, burglary and natural disasters!'

'And now,' the couple asked in unison, 'what's your wish, genie?'

'Well, since I've been trapped in that bottle, and haven't been with a woman in more than a thousand years, my wish is to have sex with your wife.'

The husband looked at his wife and said, 'Gee, honey, you know we both now have a fortune, and all those houses. What do you think?'

She mulled it over for a few moments and said, 'You know, you're right. Considering our good fortune, I guess I wouldn't mind, but what about you, honey?'

'You know I love you sweetheart,' said the husband. I'd do the same for you!'

So the genie and the woman went upstairs where they spent the rest of the afternoon enjoying each other. The genie was insatiable.

After about three hours of non-stop sex, the genie rolled over and looked directly into her eyes and asked, 'How old are you and your husband?'

'Why, we're both 35,' she responded breathlessly.

'No Kidding,' he said. 'Thirty-five years old and both of you still believe in genies??!!!'
versa is offline   Reply With Quote
 
Old 02-06-2008, 03:00 AM   #2
SALFORD RED
Super Moderator
World Cup Winner
 
Ball Smacker Champion!
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: SNOWY SALFORD.
Posts: 3,615
vCash: 0
SALFORD RED is on a distinguished road
ROFLMAO, nice one Versa. One of the best i've seen for
quite a while now.
__________________
M.U.F.C. NumquamMoribimur. L.U.H.G.
Quote:
Originally Posted by abojodeh
since when these bloody scousers know how to use the internet
.
SALFORD RED is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-06-2008, 11:03 AM   #3
burnzy1987
Indispensible to the Club
 
burnzy1987's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 802
vCash: 1250
burnzy1987 is on a distinguished road
quite good that hahahaha
__________________
but what about the girlfriend you left at home?

sitting in your living room all alone....


Quote:
Originally Posted by abojodeh
the moon is blue but Manchester is red
burnzy1987 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-06-2008, 11:05 AM   #4
Zenitka
World Cup Winner
 
Zenitka's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: St.Petersburg...
Age: 15
Posts: 1,840
vCash: 2358
Zenitka is on a distinguished road
hahahahahaha lol....
__________________


WE NEED YOU!!!!!!
Zenitka is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-06-2008, 04:39 PM   #5
Forever_United
Player of the Year
 
Forever_United's Avatar
 

Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Manchester, England
Age: 19
Posts: 690
vCash: 133
Forever_United is on a distinguished road
might have to try it myself hahah
Forever_United is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-06-2008, 12:06 AM   #6
Red Devil
Administrator
World Cup Winner
 
Red Devil's Avatar
 

Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Sutton Coldfield
Posts: 6,365
vCash: 100
Red Devil is on a distinguished road
............... just wait till I see that damned Djinii !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Note: correct spelling
Red Devil is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 04-06-2008, 12:56 AM   #7
sparkic
World Cup Winner
 
sparkic's Avatar
 

Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Melbourne
Age: 17
Posts: 1,585
vCash: 5593
sparkic is on a distinguished road
rofl!!! That was a great joke!
sparkic is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-06-2008, 11:13 AM   #8
thatboyronaldo7
Breaking into the First Team
 

Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 251
vCash: 428
thatboyronaldo7 is on a distinguished road
Haha what a great joke
thatboyronaldo7 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-06-2008, 09:45 PM   #9
CArMen_89
 

Posts: n/a
vCash:
LOL

hahahahahah...thx a lot
  Reply With Quote
Old 15-06-2008, 10:45 PM   #10
dovorian
Breaking into the First Team
 
Rooney on the Rampage Champion!
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 225
vCash: 1165
dovorian is on a distinguished road
Very good.
dovorian is offline   Reply With Quote
 
Reply


Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Powered by vBadvanced CMPS v2.1.0



All times are GMT +1. The time now is 09:01 AM.

The Soccerlinks Hit List Soccer Search Engine - Hit List

ManUtdTalk Style ©2005 vBEnhanced
This site is in no way affiliated with Manchester United. For the official Manchester United Football Club website please visit HERE
Powered by vBulletin Version 3.5.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2008, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.