Manchester United

Go Back   Manchester United Forums > Entertainment > Jokes Section

User Name
Password Register
 Home Arcade  Forums Register FAQ Members List Calendar Betting Mark Forums Read

Not a member of our Manchester United Forums yet?.

Manutdtalk is a dedicated site for all Manchester United Fans, run by Manchester United fans, Join up to be part of the community for the best football club in the world, its free

Registration takes a few seconds, its so simple, click here to join today!

If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact support.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 05-07-2008, 03:03 PM   #1
-zuco-
World Cup Winner
 
-zuco-'s Avatar
 
Tournaments Won: 3

Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Upstairs
Posts: 5,237
vCash: 1533
-zuco- is on a distinguished road
Cool Why Men Are Never Depressed

Men Are Just Happier People--

Your last name stays put.

The garage is all yours.

Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack.

You can never be pregnant.

Car mechanics tell you the truth.

The world is your urinal.

You never have to drive to another petrol station restroom because this one is just too icky..

You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

Same work, more pay.

Wrinkles add character.

People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.

New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

One mood all the time.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

You know stuff about tanks and engines. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

You can open all your own jars.

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.



Your underwear is £4.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You never have strap problems in public.

You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

Everything on your face stays its original colour.

The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life.

One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one colour for all seasons.

You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.

You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.

You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
-zuco- is offline   Reply With Quote
 
Old 05-07-2008, 03:08 PM   #2
Keano!
Moderator
World Cup Winner
 
Keano!'s Avatar
 
Tournaments Won: 6

Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Baile Atha Cliath
Age: 17
Posts: 5,194
vCash: 100
Keano! is on a distinguished road
lmao.......good ones in there.


Quote:
Originally Posted by -zuco-
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.

&

Quote:
Originally Posted by -zuco-
You can open all your own jars.


...are the best IMO...
Keano! is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-07-2008, 03:28 PM   #3
abojodeh
World Cup Winner
 
abojodeh's Avatar
 
Tournaments Won: 1

Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: in your house
Age: 16
Posts: 5,749
vCash: 5000
abojodeh is on a distinguished road
Quote:
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes
iin 15 minte*
__________________


Viva Blade Viva Blade | eats your dong | sing you a song | Viva Blade Viva Blade :*)
abojodeh is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-07-2008, 03:29 PM   #4
Keano4taoiseach
World Cup Winner
 
Keano4taoiseach's Avatar
 

Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Location Location!
Age: 17
Posts: 4,286
vCash: 100
Keano4taoiseach is on a distinguished road
Some good ones, some crap ones
Keano4taoiseach is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-07-2008, 03:30 PM   #5
-zuco-
World Cup Winner
 
-zuco-'s Avatar
 
Tournaments Won: 3

Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Upstairs
Posts: 5,237
vCash: 1533
-zuco- is on a distinguished road
Quote:
Originally Posted by Keano4taoiseach
Some good ones, some crap ones
I know but I copied and pasted from an email off my
Uncle and couldn't be bothered sifting out the crap ones
-zuco- is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-07-2008, 05:03 PM   #6
Jazz 16
Super Moderator
Head Of UEFA
 
Jazz 16's Avatar
 
Pacman Champion! Zidane - Head Butt Game Champion!
Tournaments Won: 8

Join Date: May 2007
Location: Dublin, Ireland
Age: 28
Posts: 9,407
vCash: 37003
Jazz 16 is on a distinguished road
lol so true....ah the joys of being a man :-)
Jazz 16 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-07-2008, 05:47 PM   #7
RedForceRising
Super Moderator
World Cup Winner
 
RedForceRising's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jul 2007
Age: 30
Posts: 4,084
vCash: 1588
RedForceRising will become famous soon enough
I received that email before, but I never get tired of reading some of those lines.

Absolute pearls of truth and wisdom!
__________________
Play for the name on the front of the shirt and people will remember the name on the back - Lionel Messi

Scouting Reports Thread
| News & Gossip Round-up | German Bundesliga | European Statistics

To make a donation to manutdtalk click here
RedForceRising is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 12-07-2008, 07:05 PM   #8
frenchie
First Team Regular
 

Join Date: May 2008
Location: in my room
Age: 24
Posts: 316
vCash: 500
frenchie is on a distinguished road
liked that...men are such simple creatures......lol.
frenchie is offline   Reply With Quote
 
Reply


Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Powered by vBadvanced CMPS v2.1.0



All times are GMT +1. The time now is 08:56 AM.

The Soccerlinks Hit List Soccer Search Engine - Hit List

ManUtdTalk Style ©2005 vBEnhanced
This site is in no way affiliated with Manchester United. For the official Manchester United Football Club website please visit HERE
Powered by vBulletin Version 3.5.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2008, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.