[-zuco-]

What's the ideal weight for a mother-in-law?

About 2.3 pounds including the urn.

---------------------------------------------

--------------------------------------------------------------------

I parked in a disabled space today and a traffic warden shouted to me.
'Oi, what's your disability?'
I said 'Tourettes! Now **** *** you ******'

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I said to the wife, 'I thought I saw your name on a loaf of bread today, but when I looked again it said 'Thick Cut' '

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

What's the difference between Harold Shipman and Tony Blair?
Shipman actually did something about NHS waiting lists.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------


-----------------------------------------------------------------------

A bride on her wedding night says to her husband 'I must confess darling, Iwas a hooker!'.
He says 'That's alright, dear. Your past is your past, but I must admit that I find it quite erotic. Tell me about it'.
She replies 'Well, my name was Nigel, and I played for Wigan !'.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------


------------------------------------------------------------------------

A man says to his wife 'tell me something that will make me happy and sad at the same time'.
His wife replies 'You've got a bigger todger than your brother'

-----------------------------------------------------------------------


------------------------------------------------------------------------

One day , long long time ago

there was a woman that did not whine, moan or bitch



but that was a long long time ago and just one day

[reddevil11]

Lol i like the shipman one

[abojodeh]

One day , long long time ago

there was a woman that did not whine, moan or bitch



but that was a long long time ago and just one day

thats wrong
just for one hour not day

[SALFORD RED]

lmao, Good ones there Z, cheers.

I said to the wife, 'I thought I saw your name on a loaf of bread today, but when I looked again it said 'Thick Cut' '
Double LMFAO.
.

[Jazz 16]

lmao, some gus un's there.

a couple of good ones there

[PrinceZane]

I don't get the Shipman one >_>

[-zuco-]

Originally Posted by PrinceZane

I don't get the Shipman one >_>

Harold Shipman was a doctor that gave some of his patients lethal doses of
morphine. He was found guilty of murdering a small number of elderly people
(around 20 I think) but the true number of victims is though to be around 150.

That's from the top of my head, I'm sure wiki will help you out

Edit:

On 31 January 2000, Shipman was found guilty of 15 murders and sentenced to life imprisonment with a recommendation from the trial judge that he should never be released. Two years later, Home Secretary David Blunkett agreed with this recommendation.

After his trial, a public inquest chaired by Dame Janet Smith, decided that there was enough evidence to suggest that Shipman had killed a total of over 215 people, about 80 percent of them female. His youngest victim was Peter Lewis, a 41-year-old man.[2][3]

He committed suicide in jail.

[PrinceZane]

Ah, and NHS must be something for like... national hospital services or something. makes sense now

[-zuco-]

Originally Posted by PrinceZane

Ah, and NHS must be something for like... national hospital services or something. makes sense now

National Health Service

Everybody in the country pays National Insurance which
comes out of their wages and it goes towards funding the
NHS so that everybody, poor or rich, gets medical treatment free

Well not free cos we paid the National Insurance but you know what I mean