Your sick and tired of all the jokes your mates etc are babbling on about united... Well get one over them
Feel Free to Add to the thread, the more the better, ive only added some of our nearest rivals, feel free to add any about any team
Im sure you can find/think of better ones than me!
LIVERPOOL JOKES
Rafael Benitez: "Our new Winger cost five million. I call him our wonder player"
Sir Alex Ferguson: "Why's that?"
Rafael Benitez: "Everytime he plays I wonder why I bothered to buy him!"
Q: Why will Liverpool never win the League?
A: They keep scoring Owen goals
Q: What's is the differance between Pamela Anderson and the Liverpool goal?
A: Pam's only got two tits in front of her
A father and son were eating breakfast. The fathers newspaper had the headline "Van Gogh sold for £8 million".
The son asked "is he worth it, Dad?", to which the father, surprised at his son's interest in fine art, replied "I suppose so, son. Why do you ask?"
The son said "Well, Liverpool paid more than that for Stan Collymore, and he was crap"
CHELSEA JOKES
Two blokes were walking through a cemetery when they happened upon a tombstone that read:
"Here lies John Sweeney, a good man and a Chelsea fan."
So, one of them asked the other: "When the hell did they start putting two people in one grave?"
Q: Why did Chelsea go on the stock exchange?
A: To prove that crap can float.
Q: What is the difference between Gianfranco Zola and a mini?
A: A mini can only carry three passengers.
I've heard that Stamford Park has arguably the best pitch in the Premiership. Well...not entirely suprising considering all the
**** that has been on there.
Q: What do Chelsea keepers and SInger Michael Michael Jackson both have in common?
A: Both wear gloves for no apparent reason.
ARSENAL JOKES
Two Gunners fans are on the plane on the way to Holland.
One turns to the other and says "Hey Arthur! See if this plane turns upside-doon will we fall out?"
"No way Richard," says his mate "of course we'll still be pals!!"
Q: You're trapped in a room with a Lion, Cobra snake and an Arsenal Fan. You have a gun with two bullets. What should you do?
A: Shoot the Arsenal Fan. Twice.
Two men are fishing on a river bank in a remote area of the River Thames on a Saturday afternoon miles away from any radio or tv.
Suddenly one man turns to the other and says "The Gunners have lost again."
The other man was flabbergasted and said "how in the name of god do you know that?"
The other man replied "It's quarter to five."
The seven dwarfs are down in the mines when there is a cave-in.
Snow White runs to the entrance and yells down to them.
In the distance a voice shouts out "Arsenal" are good enough to win the European Cup."
Snow White says "Well at least Dopey's alive!"
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