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Old 06-09-2007, 10:29 AM   #1
carlyluvsunited
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Postman Pat's Last Day....

It was Postman Pat's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same villages and towns.

When he arrived at the first house on his route, he was greeted by the whole family there, who all hugged and congratulated him and sent him on his way with a gift cheque for £50.

At the second house they presented him an 18-carat gold watch.

The folks at the third house handed him a bottle of 15-year old Scotch whisky.

At the fourth house he was met at the door by a beautiful blonde in sexy lingerie. She took him by the arm and led him up the stairs to the bedroom where she blew his mind with the most passionate sex he had ever experienced. When he had had enough they went downstairs, where the bird fixed him a full English breakfast: bacon, eggs, sausage and tomato with freshly-squeezed orange juice. When he was full she poured him a cup of steaming coffee. As she was pouring, he noticed a £5 note sticking out from under the cup.

"All this was just too wonderful for words," he said, "but what's the five quid for?"

"Well," said the blonde, "last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day and that we should do something special for you. I asked him what to give you and he said, "Fcuk him! Give him a fiver!"

She smiled shyly and said, "The breakfast was my idea."
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Old 06-09-2007, 02:27 PM   #2
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LMFAO, thats f*cking brilliant carly! I think i'm gonna become a postman!
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Old 08-09-2007, 01:05 AM   #3
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I'd say that wife was pretty blonde.

Wait... Carly is blonde...

Hmmmmmmmmm
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Old 19-09-2007, 07:38 AM   #4
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Hahah, I liked that one :P
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Old 25-09-2007, 05:23 AM   #5
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Good one Carly. Always give the postman one eh .
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Old 25-09-2007, 06:25 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SALFORD RED
Good one Carly. Always give the postman one eh .
Well I never have any letters go missing
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Old 25-09-2007, 07:36 PM   #7
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I'm definitely in the wrong business....
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