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Old 06-09-2007, 04:03 PM   #1
carlyluvsunited
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The Book of Genesis....

I THINK THE BIBLE WAS ALTERED BY SOME SCOUSE GIT MANY YEARS AGO.

THIS IS HOW THE BOOK OF GENESIS CHAPTER 1 VERSES 1 - 31 ORIGINALLY READ
UNTIL SOME SCALLY FROM BOOTLE FIDDLED WITH IT !!!


In the beginning God created Manchester and Old Trafford.

And Old Trafford was without form and void ...and darkness was upon the face of
the deep. And the spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters.

And God said: "Let there be flood lights" ... and there were flood lights.

And God saw the lights and thought they were good ... and he divided the light
from the darkness.

And God called the light 'A Saturday Fixture' and the darkness he called 'A
Midweek Fixture'. And the evening and the morning were the first day.

And God said "let there be a barrier between the fans of Man Utd and the fans of
all others."

And God made the barrier and divided the fans which were riff raff and the fans
that were Man Utd.

And the morning and the evening were the second day.

And God said "Let all the good players gather together at Old Trafford and all the
**** players go elsewhere." And it was so.

And God called all the good players Manchester United and all the crap players
Arsenal/Liverpool/Chelsea etc etc....and God saw that it was good.

And God said "Let Manchester United bring forth trophies and titles and all good
things. And it was so. And the evening and the morning were the third day.

And God said "Let there be two teams at Old Trafford. The first team to win all
before them and the second team to play in ***** comps like the Carling Cup etc
etc"

And God said let the first team thrash everyone before them and it was so.

And the evening and the morning were the fourth day.

And God said "Let the reserve team bring forward abundantly plentiful players to
replace the old as they depart. And God created Beckham, Giggs, Scholes, Neville
G, Neville P and Butt and God saw that it was good.

And God blessed them saying "Be fruitful and multiply and fill the cabinets with
trophies and the stands with Carly and thousands of other fans fans" and it was
so.

And the evening and the morning were the fifth day.

And God said "Let the earth bring forward the living creatures after his kind...Alex
Ferguson and Carlos Queiroz...and it was so.

And God made it so that these creatures won everything upon the earth and it
was good.

And God said "Let me make these men in the image of me" and so it was. Alex
and Carlos are Gods. And God blessed them and said go forth and be fruitful and
multiply and it was so.

And the evening and the morning were the sixth day.

Thus Old Trafford and Manchester were finished.

And on the seventh day God ended his work which he had made. And God rested
on The Sabbath. And God blessed the seventh day and sanctified it..........

And so it was......And God called this day Sunday !!!

And this very Sunday....God's very own creation...that which we call Manchester
United shall rise above all and inflict their wrath and tyranny upon that evil which
shall be known as Chelsea. They will strike this Chelsea with all they have and
kill the beast.

And it will be so. And God will see this good.

And God will bestow the Premiership on the cherubs of Old Trafford.

And all will be good for evermore.
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Old 06-09-2007, 07:07 PM   #2
Justice
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Quote:
Originally Posted by carlyluvsunited
[b]
And God said "Let the reserve team bring forward abundantly plentiful players to
replace the old as they depart. And God created Beckham, Giggs, Scholes, Neville
G, Neville P and Butt and God saw that it was good.

Even God makes mistakes.
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Old 08-09-2007, 12:56 AM   #3
PrinceZane
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Quote:
Originally Posted by carlyluvsunited
I THINK THE BIBLE WAS ALTERED... ...And all will be good for evermore.

Amen.
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