Manchester United

Go Back   Manchester United Forums > Entertainment > Jokes Section

User Name
Password Register
 Home Arcade  Forums Register FAQ Members List Calendar Betting Mark Forums Read

Not a member of our Manchester United Forums yet?.

Manutdtalk is a dedicated site for all Manchester United Fans, run by Manchester United fans, Join up to be part of the community for the best football club in the world, its free

Registration takes a few seconds, its so simple, click here to join today!

If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact support.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 01-12-2007, 11:02 PM   #1
Anderson's God
Club Legend
 

Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 1,431
vCash: 645
Anderson's God is on a distinguished road
Footie Jokes!

Four surgeons are taking a coffee break:

1st surgeon says "Accountants are the best to operate on because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered."

2nd surgeon says "Nah, librarians are the best. Everything inside them is in alphabetical order."

3rd surgeon says "Try electricians, man! Everything inside them is colour coded."

4th surgeon says "I prefer Chelsea fans. They're heartless, spineless, gutless and their heads and a**es are interchangeable."

Unconfirmed reports from stamford bridge say that Chelsea will be releasing a new record at the end of the week, "I'm forever blowing Doubles"!

There was this group of people on a tour-bus. The guide on the bus asked if anyone on the bus could tell the rest a joke, whereupon a man got up and said that he could tell a Leeds joke.
Suddenly a bloke in the back of the bus said, "No, don`t do that. I`m a Leeds fan."
The guide looked at him and said, "That`s okay. We`ll explain it to you afterwards."


A nurse at Leeds General Infirmary told an industrial tribunalhow she tried to stop the fight between two top doctors which resulted in one of them being sacked by the hospital."I pulled them apart" said sexy Jane Adams, 21, "and could see Dr Jones was in tears. I asked him what it was about and he sobbed 'It's that man on D-ward, you know, that one with the Man United pyjamas. Doctor Smith has just told him that he's only got two weeks left to live'. I told him there was nothing more we could do for him and he had to be told. Dr Jones said 'I know that, but I wanted to tell the *******'" The incident follows a complaint from a patient in September of last year when Dr Jones told a cancer victim he had some good news and some bad news "The bad news is you're going to die" "and the good news ?" asked the downcast patient "we beat the scum 2-1 !"
__________________
"If he wants to exchange Cristiano Ronaldo for Ben Arfa we could talk about it but they would have to also give us a bit of money." - Jean-Michel Aulas on a possible trade deal with United!

Not on your life Aulas!
Anderson's God is offline   Reply With Quote
 
Old 01-12-2007, 11:14 PM   #2
Keano4taoiseach
World Cup Winner
 
Keano4taoiseach's Avatar
 

Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Location Location!
Age: 17
Posts: 4,286
vCash: 100
Keano4taoiseach is on a distinguished road
Quote:
Originally Posted by Anderson's God

There was this group of people on a tour-bus. The guide on the bus asked if anyone on the bus could tell the rest a joke, whereupon a man got up and said that he could tell a Leeds joke.
Suddenly a bloke in the back of the bus said, "No, don`t do that. I`m a Leeds fan."
The guide looked at him and said, "That`s okay. We`ll explain it to you afterwards."


A nurse at Leeds General Infirmary told an industrial tribunalhow she tried to stop the fight between two top doctors which resulted in one of them being sacked by the hospital."I pulled them apart" said sexy Jane Adams, 21, "and could see Dr Jones was in tears. I asked him what it was about and he sobbed 'It's that man on D-ward, you know, that one with the Man United pyjamas. Doctor Smith has just told him that he's only got two weeks left to live'. I told him there was nothing more we could do for him and he had to be told. Dr Jones said 'I know that, but I wanted to tell the *******'" The incident follows a complaint from a patient in September of last year when Dr Jones told a cancer victim he had some good news and some bad news "The bad news is you're going to die" "and the good news ?" asked the downcast patient "we beat the scum 2-1 !"


LMAO...... ......(the others were pretty boring)
Keano4taoiseach is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-12-2007, 05:32 AM   #3
Ajant
Club Legend
 
Tournaments Won: 1

Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Perth, Western Australia
Age: 19
Posts: 1,246
vCash: 1550
Ajant is on a distinguished road
Liverpool.
__________________
I = Innocuous, Innovative and Innuendoes
Ajant is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-12-2007, 06:32 AM   #4
SALFORD RED
Super Moderator
World Cup Winner
 
Ball Smacker Champion!
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: SALFORD.
Posts: 3,509
vCash: 0
SALFORD RED is on a distinguished road
I went to see Man Ciddy play once, got caught climbing over the wall. ......












Police made me get down and watch the rest of the match.
.
__________________
M.U. NumquamMoribimur. L.U.H.G.
Quote:
Originally Posted by abojodeh
since when these bloody scousers know how to use the internet
.
SALFORD RED is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-12-2007, 11:36 AM   #5
PrinceZane
World Cup Winner
 
PrinceZane's Avatar
 
Soccer Tournament Champion!Tournaments Won: 3

Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Not Europe :(
Age: 24
Posts: 1,787
vCash: 540
PrinceZane is on a distinguished road
haha. I almost went to City stadium for a tour while I was in Man City... I ended up going to Chinatown instead
PrinceZane is offline   Reply With Quote
 
Reply


Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Powered by vBadvanced CMPS v2.1.0



All times are GMT +1. The time now is 12:25 AM.

The Soccerlinks Hit List Soccer Search Engine - Hit List

ManUtdTalk Style ©2005 vBEnhanced
This site is in no way affiliated with Manchester United. For the official Manchester United Football Club website please visit HERE
Powered by vBulletin Version 3.5.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2008, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.