[rooneytunes]

Joke deleted due to swearing.

-zuco-

[-zuco-]

Second warning Rooneytunes.
Next step is a one day ban.

No swearing!

[rooneytunes]

You show me where i was swearing

[-zuco-]

I've deleted it. If I repeat it I'll have to give myself a warning

[Dynamite]

Right not posted any in here yet so here is a few if it's ok regarding any rules


1. Why did Rafa go to Argos?
It's the only place he could pick up Premier Points.

2. An Irishman a Welshman & a Scouser are all in a bar drinking & having a good time, they look across the room they see Jesus standing by the bar waiting to be served!!
All three go rushing over to Jesus & insist they buy him a drink!
The Scotsman the Irishman & the Scouser all buy him a pint each & leave Jesus to enjoy the beer!!
An hour or so later Jesus stands up after finishing the drinks & makes his way over to the 3 men to say thanks for the drinks!!

He approaches the Irishman & says "thanks for the drink my son" & shakes his hand, the Irishman jumps up with joy and says "until you shook my hand i had a curved spine, i can now stand straight & i'm no longer in pain, i'm saved thank you Jesus"

Jesus approaches the Welshman & thanks him for the drink, Jesus shakes the Welshmans hand! Jesus again uses his magical powers!!

The Welshman says with joy " all my life i have been a farmer & i have a bad hip, i can now jump around & dance, i'm saved thank you Jesus"

Jesus approaches the Scouser to say thanks for the drink, he reaches his hand forward to shake hands, the Scouser looks alarmed & backs off & says " Leave it out mate, i'm on disability benefits"


3. Why does the River Mersey run through Liverpool?
Because if it walked it would be mugged.


4. Saint Peter was manning the Pearly Gates when forty scousers showed up. Never having seen anyone from Liverpool at heaven's door, Saint Peter said he would have to check with God. After hearing the news, God instructed him to admit the ten most virtuous from the group.
A few minutes later, Saint Peter returned to God breathless and said, "They're gone."
"What? All of the Scousers are gone?" asked God.
"No" replied Saint Peter "The Pearly Gates!"

5. What do you call a Scouser with sliverware?

A thief.

[abojodeh]

we dont believe you gerrard


Three men, a Scouser, a Manc and a Rasta all in the maternity ward waiting for their partners to give birth. The midwife comes out and tells them congratulations, they're all fathers of beautiful healthy boys, however unfortunately they've run out of the name tags, and the babies have been mixed up, so if they could each go in and identify their sons from any family resemblance etc. The Manc wants to go first, so in he goes and comes out with a black baby The Rasta looks a bit confused, "excuse me", he said, "but don't you think he's likely to be mine ?" "Probably", said the Manc, "but one of them in there's a scouser, and I'm takin' no chances !!!!!"


What's the difference between a Scouser and a broken clock?
Even a clock is right twice a day!


haha

[Zenitka]

Originally Posted by abojodeh

Three men, a Scouser, a Manc and a Rasta all in the maternity ward waiting for their partners to give birth. The midwife comes out and tells them congratulations, they're all fathers of beautiful healthy boys, however unfortunately they've run out of the name tags, and the babies have been mixed up, so if they could each go in and identify their sons from any family resemblance etc. The Manc wants to go first, so in he goes and comes out with a black baby The Rasta looks a bit confused, "excuse me", he said, "but don't you think he's likely to be mine ?" "Probably", said the Manc, "but one of them in there's a scouser, and I'm takin' no chances !!!!!"


What's the difference between a Scouser and a broken clock?
Even a clock is right twice a day!

haha

hahaha....

[abojodeh]

Three Americans and three scousers are travelling by train. At the station, the three Americans each buy tickets and watch as the three scousers buy only a single ticket. "How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?" asked an American. "Watch" answers a scouser.

They all board the train. The Americans take their respective seats but all three scousers cram into the toilet and close the door behind them.

Shortly after the train departs, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the toilet door and says, "Ticket, please." The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on. The Americans saw this and agreed it was quite a clever idea. So, on the return trip, the Americans decide to copy the scousers on the return trip and save some money. When they get to the station, they buy a single ticket for the return trip. To their astonishment, the scousers don't buy a ticket at all. "How are you going to travel without a ticket," asks one perplexed American. "Watch" says a scouser.

When they board the train the three Americans cram into a toilet and the three scousers cram into another one nearby. The train departs. Shortly afterward, one of the scousers leaves his toilet and walks over to the toilet where the Americans are hiding. He knocks on the door and says, "Ticket, please".

[reddwarf]

LMAO. Abo that joke is brilliant!

[abojodeh]

Originally Posted by reddwarf

LMAO. Abo that joke is brilliant!

the only three smart scouses