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one evening a mother and father are waiting up for there son who's just been to his first city home game. when the boy comes home he has a huge smile on his face, his dad asks 'did they win?' 'no dad don't be silly' says the boy 'but i've got some good news i've just had sex for the first time!', at this point his mum stands up shocked and says to her husband 'he's your boy you talk to him!''
'well son' said the father 'i'm very proud of you, and to celebrate this occasion in your life i'm going to get you that new football you've beeen wanting, but moneys a bit tight so you'll have wait till pay day'.
'oh thats ok dad' says the boy 'i couldn't play now anyway, my arse is still to sore!!!!!!!'
 

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Boy says to his mum,
'why have i got the biggset cock at nursry'
mum replies.
'coz your 28 and retarded, now dont get spaghetti down your city shirt'
 
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