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Ready Made Crumble Mix

1 German Prune (well passed its sell by date)

4 French Lemons

3 African Melons

1 Spanish Plumb

2 Brazilian Nuts

2 English Gooseberries, if you have them lying around (please note! These fruits are seriously over rated!)


It is recommended that you adhere to the recipe but as it is an ‘Arsenal Crumble' some cheating is expected

For a good ‘Arsenal' crumble topping the ingredient need to be well beaten before cooking (5-1 should do it!)

Add all the fruits together in a hot cauldron (Anfield is perfect) and make sure they stew for 90 minutes You will know that they are properly stewed as they will completely break down and lose all of their structure.

Add a generous splash of ‘Chateau Wenger' whine to add to the sour taste.

Once this has been done cover with the crumble mix and place into a very hot oven (Old Trafford) for a further 90 minutes.

The ‘Arsenal Crumble' is now complete!!!

Arsenal supporters may find this dish very bitter to swallow!!

If so they can help themselves to a large slice of humble pie which we made earlier!!!
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