Chelsea's John Terry - Wide Of The Mark, Yet Again!
Making a complete fool of yourself in front of millions around the world must really hurt. Slipping up like the fat kid in the park as you step up to take the penalty that could have written your name into the annals of football history and given your team the kudos it so desperately longs for and scarcely deserves: that must blimmin well hurt too. Crying your eyes out like a big girl even though you swagger around like a Barking hard lad and knowing the whole world is guffawing at your failings: that must hurt like hell.
That's a lot of hurt.
Nonetheless, it doesn't give you carte blanche to talk rubbish.
John Terry's clearly been smarting all summer over his spectacular gaffe on the rain-sodden Luzhniki turf, judging by his bullish comments in an interview with the Daily Mail:
‘Last year I think we saw the very best of United, but we have got an awful lot more to come. We have got improvements to make, but I think United are at their peak.
‘Coming away without a trophy for the first time in four years was very disappointing for a club like ours. But the togetherness off the field was at a level I have never seen before.
‘The chips were down what with the injuries, a change of manager and different things happening around the club. The team and the players came closer together. We had our own meetings and were straight with each other. I have never seen anything like it.
‘I think it's taken to us to another level and it was an achievement for us to get to where we did last season.
‘We have to use that to our advantage because this year we have an awesome manager and to combine it with our togetherness could be fantastic.'
Several factual errors and debatable points there, Johnny Boy, which we'll be happy to discuss:
Firstly, we very much doubt United have reached their peak. Newcomers to the team last year like Hargreaves, Tevez, Nani and Anderson performed exceptionally well in their first season. Given that they have had a full season and a bit to bed in, we are likely to expect more and not less of them.
Add into the mix the fact that we will in all likelihood retain the services of Ronaldo (albeit against his wishes) and add another quality striker into the mix (probably Berbatov once Daniel Levy stops sulking), then on paper at least, United look ever more formidable.
Secondly, you're right that having spent the most money of any Premier League club over the past five years by a long chalk you should be disappointed to have not won anything at all last time out.
We're assuming that the phrase ‘a club like ours' refers exclusively to the fact that your club is the plaything of a Russian billionaire and from a financial viewpoint is about a solvent as the Zimbabwe economy. (Yep, we know we have three-quarters of a billion quid of debt and the Glazers are opportunistic businessmen and not wide-eyed footie fans like little Roman - who fell in love with the game at Old Trafford remember).
The phrase ‘a club like ours' has to logically refer to your financial might because it can't be accurately used to invoke any sense of a long-standing record of tradition or success - since before Abramovich's arrival you were simply an insolvent and unremarkable minor London team.
Thirdly, you got injuries. Boo hoo! Like this never happens to any other club.
United spent large portions of the season without key players, losing Rooney for example at the start of the campaign - much as we appear to be doing again. With your spending power and the size of squad you can build with that financial wherewithal any failure to sufficiently accommodate for the possibility of injury is mostly your fault and not that of fickle fate.
Fourth, your manager situation.
Nobody forced Roman Abramovich to edge Mourinho out the door and employ his new best mate instead. Mourinho had done precisely nothing wrong when ousted from the hot seat and - funnily enough - Grant did very little wrong either, if you examine the stats.
The truth is, United were just consistently better and Luiz Felipe Scolari will discover that Fergie doesn't plan on relinquishing his victory sash any time soon as he heads into the final years of his Old Trafford tenure.
Nice try at mind games Johnny Boy - but do something more worthwhile. You know - like practice your penalties....?

Making a complete fool of yourself in front of millions around the world must really hurt. Slipping up like the fat kid in the park as you step up to take the penalty that could have written your name into the annals of football history and given your team the kudos it so desperately longs for and scarcely deserves: that must blimmin well hurt too. Crying your eyes out like a big girl even though you swagger around like a Barking hard lad and knowing the whole world is guffawing at your failings: that must hurt like hell.
That's a lot of hurt.
Nonetheless, it doesn't give you carte blanche to talk rubbish.
John Terry's clearly been smarting all summer over his spectacular gaffe on the rain-sodden Luzhniki turf, judging by his bullish comments in an interview with the Daily Mail:
‘Last year I think we saw the very best of United, but we have got an awful lot more to come. We have got improvements to make, but I think United are at their peak.
‘Coming away without a trophy for the first time in four years was very disappointing for a club like ours. But the togetherness off the field was at a level I have never seen before.
‘The chips were down what with the injuries, a change of manager and different things happening around the club. The team and the players came closer together. We had our own meetings and were straight with each other. I have never seen anything like it.
‘I think it's taken to us to another level and it was an achievement for us to get to where we did last season.
‘We have to use that to our advantage because this year we have an awesome manager and to combine it with our togetherness could be fantastic.'
Several factual errors and debatable points there, Johnny Boy, which we'll be happy to discuss:
Firstly, we very much doubt United have reached their peak. Newcomers to the team last year like Hargreaves, Tevez, Nani and Anderson performed exceptionally well in their first season. Given that they have had a full season and a bit to bed in, we are likely to expect more and not less of them.
Add into the mix the fact that we will in all likelihood retain the services of Ronaldo (albeit against his wishes) and add another quality striker into the mix (probably Berbatov once Daniel Levy stops sulking), then on paper at least, United look ever more formidable.
Secondly, you're right that having spent the most money of any Premier League club over the past five years by a long chalk you should be disappointed to have not won anything at all last time out.
We're assuming that the phrase ‘a club like ours' refers exclusively to the fact that your club is the plaything of a Russian billionaire and from a financial viewpoint is about a solvent as the Zimbabwe economy. (Yep, we know we have three-quarters of a billion quid of debt and the Glazers are opportunistic businessmen and not wide-eyed footie fans like little Roman - who fell in love with the game at Old Trafford remember).
The phrase ‘a club like ours' has to logically refer to your financial might because it can't be accurately used to invoke any sense of a long-standing record of tradition or success - since before Abramovich's arrival you were simply an insolvent and unremarkable minor London team.
Thirdly, you got injuries. Boo hoo! Like this never happens to any other club.
United spent large portions of the season without key players, losing Rooney for example at the start of the campaign - much as we appear to be doing again. With your spending power and the size of squad you can build with that financial wherewithal any failure to sufficiently accommodate for the possibility of injury is mostly your fault and not that of fickle fate.
Fourth, your manager situation.
Nobody forced Roman Abramovich to edge Mourinho out the door and employ his new best mate instead. Mourinho had done precisely nothing wrong when ousted from the hot seat and - funnily enough - Grant did very little wrong either, if you examine the stats.
The truth is, United were just consistently better and Luiz Felipe Scolari will discover that Fergie doesn't plan on relinquishing his victory sash any time soon as he heads into the final years of his Old Trafford tenure.
Nice try at mind games Johnny Boy - but do something more worthwhile. You know - like practice your penalties....?