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Q. Two Chelsea fans jump off a cliff. Which one hits the ground first?.
A. Who gives a F**K!

Q: What do you get when you cross a Chelsea Fan with a pig?
A: I don't know, there are some things a pig just won't do.

Q: What do you call a Chelsea fan on the moon?
A: A Problem.

Q: What do you call 100 Chelsea fans on the moon?
A: An even bigger problem.

Q: What do you call all the Chelsea fans on the moon?
A: Problem solved

Q: Why did Chelsea go on the stock exchange?
A: To prove that crap can float.

Q: What is the difference between Gianfranco Zola and a mini?
A: A mini can only carry three passengers.

I've heard that Stamford Park has arguably the best pitch in the Premiership. Well...not entirely suprising considering all the sh*t that has been on there.
 

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Q. Why do Chelsea fans whistle whilst sitting on the toilet?
A. So they know which end to wipe!

Q: What's the difference between a Chelsea supporter and an Onion?
A: No one cries when you chop up a Chelsea fan!

Four surgeons are taking a coffee break:

1st surgeon says "Accountants are the best to operate on because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered."

2nd surgeon says "Nah, librarians are the best. Everything inside them is in alphabetical order."

3rd surgeon says "Try electricians, man! Everything inside them is colour coded."

4th surgeon says "I prefer Chelsea fans. They're heartless, spineless, gutless and their heads and a**es are interchangeable."

Unconfirmed reports from stamford bridge say that Chelsea will be releasing a new record at the end of the week, "I'm forever blowing Doubles"!
 

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man goes into a docs and say "doc every time i wank i start singing you ll never walk alone" doc says " dont worry lot of wankers sing that "
 

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Didier Drogba lies dead in the road, his body mangeld beyond recognition, the victim of a hit-and-run accident.Down the road lies the remains of a poor, dead dog, also the victim of a hit-and-run accident and also mangled beyond recognition. How do you tell the difference?

There are skid marks in front of the dog



Unconfirmed reports from stamford bridge say that Chelsea will be releasing a new record at the end of the week, "I'm forever blowing Doubles"!



Didier Drogba was recently quizzed by police about an alleged, unprovoked attack on a pregnant woman. When asked why he attacked the woman, he replied:

"I didn't realise that she was pregnant, I thought that it was a 50-50 ball that she had up her jumper!!!"
 
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