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Computer Tech Support

This ought to make you feel better about your computer skills! If you skip any, you have to read the last one!



Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
Female customer: A white one...




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Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.
Tech support: Have you tried pushing the Button?
Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.
Customer: No , wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... sorry....


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Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?

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Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer: Hello... I can't print.
Tech support: Would you click on "start" for me and...
Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates.

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Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...

============== =

Customer: I have problems printing in red...
Tech support: Do you have a color printer?
Customer: Aaaah....................thank you.

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Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11.

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Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer: OK
Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes
Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work...

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Tech support: Your password is the small letter "a" as in apple, a capital letter V as n Victor, the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?

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Customer: can't get on the Internet.
Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars..

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Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.

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Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer,
but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.

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Tech support: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?

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A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
Tech support: Are you running it under windows?
Customer: "No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the
cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine."

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And last but not least...

Tech support: "Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."
Customer: I don't have a P.
Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: What do you mean?
Tech support: "P"...on your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT
 

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Sadly, I've experienced some of these before.

I troubleshot this printer for 45 mins that ended up not having paper in it

The best one...

Caller - "My cup holder isn't wroking. It keeps spilling my coffee."
Me - (thinking, 'WTF?')... "Your cupholder?"
Caller - "Yes. It came built into the pc."
Me - (again thinking, 'WTF?')... "Where is the cup holder, in the front or back, or on top?"
Caller - "It's on the front. It has a number on it... 16x"
Me - "Sir, that is your CD tray."
<click>
 
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chiboygeorge said:
Hey i need help how do u get Screenshots or prt sc stuff on mspaint
Son told me this ( has to be easy as i'm thick on computers ) .
hold ctrl + prtsc buttons, you capture screenshot.
Open paint, click edit, then paste, file= save as .

Hope that makes sense, if not ask someone else. :D
 
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chiboygeorge said:
ok when i hold ctrl and prt sc will anything happen?
When you click ctrl and prt sc it captures whatever is on your screen, think of it as taking a photo with a camera. ( sons explanation to me, lol ).
The in paint, edit, paste, and it comes up automatically.
Then do what you want with it and save as ( wherever you want to save it ). :D
 

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Hahah excellent.

And Prince Zane that was quality, I probably would of cracked up laughing at that moment!
 

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SALFORD RED said:
When you click ctrl and prt sc it captures whatever is on your screen, think of it as taking a photo with a camera. ( sons explanation to me, lol ).
The in paint, edit, paste, and it comes up automatically.
Then do what you want with it and save as ( wherever you want to save it ). :D
Honestly, it's easier than that even. You don't need the CTRL key. The Print Screen key by itself will take the screenshot. :) Otherwise, you got it
 
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