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Discussion Starter #1
Essex girls are always joked about because they're stupid
(not my saying by the way just in fact so called) it's place
near london uk.
Here are some jokes which probably people in the uk will find funny (i hope),
but you can easy change the place name to fit any areas.



ESSEX GIRLS

An Essex girl goes to the council to register for child Benefit.

"How many children?" asks the council worker.

"Ten" replies the Essex girl.

"Ten ??" says the council worker. "What are their names?"

"Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne and Wayne."

"Doesn't that get confusing?"

"Naah..." says the Essex girl "its great because if they are out playing in

the street I just have to shout WAAAAYNE, YER DINNER'S READY, or

WAAAAYNE GO TO BED NOW and they all do it..."

"What if you want to speak to one individually?" says the perturbed council

worker.

"That's easy," says the Essex girl... "I just use their surnames."

****************
An Essex girl walks into the local dry cleaners. She places a garment on
the counter.

"I'll be back tomorrow afternoon to pick up my dress." she says.

"Come again?" says the clerk, cupping his ear.

"No" she replies. "This time it's mayonnaise."

************************************

Essex Girl enters a sex shop & asks for a vibrator.

The man says "Choose from our range on the wall."

She says "I'll take the red one."

The man replies "That's a fire extinguisher."

*********************************

An Essex girl is involved in a nasty car crash and is trapped and bleeding.

The paramedics soon arrive on site.

Medic: "It's OK I'm a paramedic and I'm going to ask you some questions?"

Girl: "OK"

Medic: "What's your name?"

Girl: " Sharon "

Medic: "OK Sharon , is this your car?"

Sharon : "Yes."

Medic: "Where are you bleeding from?"

Sharon : "Romford, mate."

******************

An Essex girl was driving down the A13 when her car phone rang.

It was her boyfriend, urgently warning her,

"Treacle, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way
on the A13. Please be careful!"

"It's not just one car!" said the Essex girl, "There's bloody hundreds of
em!"

********************************

Another Essex girl was involved in a serious crash;

there's Blood everywhere.

The paramedics arrive and drag the girl out of the car till she's lying
flat out on the ground.

Medic: "OK, I'm going to check if you're concussed."

Sharon : "Ok."

Medic: "How many fingers am I putting up?"

Sharon : "Oh my god, I'm paralysed from the waist down!"

************************************

An Essex girl and an Irish guy are in a bar when the Essex Girl Notices
something strange about the wellies the Irish guy is Wearing.

She says, "Scuse me mate, I ain't being funny or Nuffink, but why doz one
of your wellies 'ave an L on it and The uvva one's got an R on it?"

The Irish guy smiles, puts down his glass of Guinness and Replies,

"Well, I'm a little bit tick you see. The one wit the R on it is for me
right foot and the one wit the L is for me Left foot"

"Cor blimey", exclaims the Essex girl, "So THATS why me Knickers 'ave got

C&A on them!"

.
 

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Very good!

An Essex girl was driving down the A13 when her car phone rang.

It was her boyfriend, urgently warning her,

"Treacle, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way
on the A13. Please be careful!"

"It's not just one car!" said the Essex girl, "There's bloody hundreds of
em!"
That one was good!
 

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Proto-Hipster
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46,959 Posts
SALFORD RED said:
Essex girls are always joked about because they're stupid
(not my saying by the way just in fact so called) it's place
near london uk.
Here are some jokes which probably people in the uk will find funny (i hope),
but you can easy change the place name to fit any areas.



ESSEX GIRLS

An Essex girl goes to the council to register for child Benefit.

"How many children?" asks the council worker.

"Ten" replies the Essex girl.

"Ten ??" says the council worker. "What are their names?"

"Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne and Wayne."

"Doesn't that get confusing?"

"Naah..." says the Essex girl "its great because if they are out playing in

the street I just have to shout WAAAAYNE, YER DINNER'S READY, or

WAAAAYNE GO TO BED NOW and they all do it..."

"What if you want to speak to one individually?" says the perturbed council

worker.

"That's easy," says the Essex girl... "I just use their surnames."

************************************

Essex Girl enters a sex shop & asks for a vibrator.

The man says "Choose from our range on the wall."

She says "I'll take the red one."

The man replies "That's a fire extinguisher."

*********************************
Another Essex girl was involved in a serious crash;

there's Blood everywhere.

The paramedics arrive and drag the girl out of the car till she's lying
flat out on the ground.

Medic: "OK, I'm going to check if you're concussed."

Sharon : "Ok."

Medic: "How many fingers am I putting up?"

Sharon : "Oh my god, I'm paralysed from the waist down!"

************************************


.
all are good byt this three are the best
 
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