What would do the United players with such an offer?Incentives in any line of work are always difficult to determine. Will that employee work extra hard if you offer him a free cupcake for getting the TPS report in by 5pm? Or will the threat of a whip to the back accomplish the same thing?
Well, one soccer team seems to have discovered what it takes to produce results. For every win, screen two pornos for your players. Brilliant.
Yes, FC Copenhagen, which isn't some scrub team in a second division, is a Danish Superliga team, and they have indeed used porn to motivate their players. And you're damn right it's working.
One of the club's sponsors, sex movie distributors BN Agentur, have promised the squad two porn movies every time they win. Laursen, Sionko and team mates have risen to the challenge â€” winning nine of their first 13 games to go one point behind leaders Odense. Copenhagen, known locally as FCK, screen the films at their training ground â€” although they refuse to reveal who gets to keep them afterwards.
Club chairman Flemming Ostergaard said: "As far as I am concerned, there is nothing wrong with it."
Hell yeah there's nothing wrong with it. In fact, this might be the only thing that can prevent the Lions from going winless this season.
I guess the only question is what kind of movies they're getting? Hopefully they're sports themed.
Deadspin has a few movie titles of likely films: Bang the Bum Slowly, The Unnatural, and Brian's Dong. I'd like to suggest Eight Men In, White Men Can't Hump, and The Longest...uh, I'll just stop there. Feel free to leave your own suggestions in the comments.