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I'm so gorgeous they want to arrest me
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The Irish will understand:


How do Kerrymen forge 10p pieces?

They cut the corners off 50p pieces!



How would you get a Kerryman to climb on the roof of a pub?

Tell him the drinks are on the house!




How do you keep a Kerryman happy for an afternoon?

Write P.T.O on both sides of a pice of paper.





A kerryman, who had fallen into a lot of money,went to the Dr with an injured leg.

"That looks nasty",said the Dr,"I'd better give you a local anaesthetic".

"Hang the expense", said the Kerryman, "I'll have the imported one!"





What do you call a Kerryman under a wheelbarrow?

A mechanic.




Have you heard about the Kerryman who had a brain transplant?

The brain rejected him.





What do you do if a Kerryman throws a pin at you?

Run like mad- he's probably got a grenade between his teeth!





A Kerryman won a round the world trip in a raffle.

He refused to accept the prize because

he said he had no way of getting back!





Did you hear about the Kerryman who saw

a notice reading:-"Man wanted for Robbery and Murder"?

He went in and applied for the job.





Have you heard about the Kerryman who damaged his health

by drinking milk?

The cow fell on him!





Why do Kerry dogs have flat faces?

From chasing parked cars.





How do you recognise a Kerry pirate?

He has a patch over each eye.




How do you recognise the bride at a Kerry wedding?

She's the one wearing white wellingtons.





Have you heard about the Kerryman whose library burnt down?

Both books were destroyed, and worse still one hadn't even been coloured in yet!





How do you confuse a Kerryman?

Place three shovels against a wall and ask him to take his pick.





What are Kerry nurses famous for?

Waking patients up to take their sleeping tablets.






Have you heard about the Kerryman who cheated Irish rail?

He bought a return ticket to Dublin and didn't go back!
 
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