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Liverpool for sale on Ebay!!

547 Views 2 Replies 3 Participants Last post by  Red Devil

check out the file i tried to attatch to this v funny!

dont know if it attatched but liverpool fc was for sale on ebay yesterday!

heres some of the text, it was a PDF file

FOR SALE - LIVERPOOL FC (plus fixtures & fittings)
We are instructed on behalf of our clients Messrs Gilett & Hicks to offer for
sale Liverpool Football Club, also known as 'Liverpool Reds'. The
opportunity to purchase this franchise is quite unique as this type of
opportunity only comes along once every six months or so.
Liverpool FC has a long history of association with the city of Liverpool
although most of its core support nowadays comes from Norway, indeed the
tea bar at the Kop is the only one at a UK football ground to accept Kroner.
The league championship has been won on many occasions and there are
still several old age pensioners on Merseyside who can remember the last
occasion this prestigious honour was won by the club.
Plans have been drawn for a new stadium, but these have since been
downgraded to a smaller stadium and it is hoped that the new owners will
not downgrade too much because architect's drawing are not cheap and it
may not be possible to fund the commissioning of another set of drawings,
although we should point out that Beryl who cleans the Kemlyn Road stand
toilets on match days has a grandson with a CSE in art, and she thinks that
with a bottle of Tippex and a HB pencil he could re-vamp the plans and come
up with a good drawing because he did a very good sketch of Jordan the
other day, although in fairness he did just trace around a picture of her head
and t*ts that was in The Sun, and anyway we all thought the moustache
suited her.
Several parts of the ground are deteriorating badly, in particular the pitch,
which for some reason only allows two players to play well. This clearly
leads to unbalanced play in the team, however the current owners intend to
sell Gerrard and Torres before the club is sold so that will guarantee a
more even level of play in the team.
The sale of the club will include the club coach, which is unique in that the
suspension was reinforced several years ago to enable the coach to travel
at 50 MPH while carrying Sammy Lee. The boot of the coach contains
several items of club memorabilia including a set of golf clubs owned by
Craig Bellamy, although some of these are damaged. There is also an
electronic tag which was once worn by Jermaine Pennant and several used
syringes that were once the property of Robbie Fowler The coach interior is
in extremely good condition and the upholstery has benefited from manager
Rafa Benitez's rotation policy, no player has ever sat in the same seat twice.
The sale of the club also includes the club bar although this is now empty
due to a visit from Jamie Carragher's father. The trophy cabinet is also
included in the sale, although there is uncertainty as to whether the key still
fits the lock, Jermaine Pennant's father however has offered to pick the lock
if the key doesn't work.
Also included is a VHS video player from the director's lounge and several
VHS video tapes, some of these tapes were made in Amsterdam and feature
Andriy Voronin in 'action' (wink wink, you know what I'm saying!)
Also included are the Shankly Gates, together with a statue of Bill Shankly
with arms outstretched as he was being frisked just before being arrested
for his part in the Shanklygate affair that the gates commemorate.
Bidding is starting at just 99p and there is no reserve on this auction. There is no going back on the final bid, the owners are keen to dispose of this
franchise quickly and the new owner will be required to step in straight away
to take over the administration of the club, this may also include team
selection as it is likely the manager will not be at the club much longer.
Please feel free to ask any questions...
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