whats that song, about burning the kop haha, that would be appropriate right now
lmao!!antdevil78 said:As it will be ready for 2011, is it true they are holding parts of the olympics at the New Anfield.
4x 100m relay - instead of passing a baton, keeping with Liverpool tradition, it will be a stolen dvd player
fencing - competitors have 5 minutes to get rid off as much knocked off gear as possible
pentathlon - Amended to include mugging, breaking & entering, flashing, joyriding and arson.
All this will be started by lighting the olympic torch with a petrol bomb
That is soooooo last year man!!!!!!SALFORD RED said:Olympics Events to be held in Liverpool.
The flame will be ignited by a petrol bomb thrown by a native of the area in the
traditional dress of balaclava and shell suit. The flame will be contained in a large
overturned police van situated on the roof of the stadium.
In previous Olympic Games, Liverpool's competitors have not been particularly
successful. In order to redress the balance, some of the events have been
altered slightly to the advantage of local athletes.
100 METRES SPRINT
Competitors will have to hold a DVD player and microwave oven (one in each arm)
and on the sound of the starting pistol, a police dog will be released from a cage
10 yards behind the athletes.
110 METRES HURDLES
As above but with added obstacles (i.e. car bonnets, hedges, garden fences,
Competitors in this event may choose the type of hammer they wish to use (claw,
sledge etc) the winner will be the one who can cause the most physical damage
within three attempts.
Entrants will be asked to dispose of as many stolen goods as possible in 5
A strong challenge is expected from local men in this event. The first target will be
a moving police van. In the second round, competitors will aim at a post office
clerk, bank teller or Securicor-style wages deliveryman. The traditional .22 rifle
has been replaced in this event by a choice of either a Browning automatic
handgun or sawn-off 12-bore shotgun.
Entry to the boxing will be restricted to husband and wife teams, and will take
place on a Friday night. The husband will be given 15 pints of lager while the wife
will be told not to make him any tea when he gets home. The bout will then
CYCLING TIME TRIALS
Competitors will be asked to break into the University bike shed and take an
expensive mountain bike owned by some mummy's boy on his first trip away from
home. All against the clock.
As above, but the bike will be owned by a visiting member of the Australian rugby
team, who will witness the theft.
Amended to include mugging, breaking and entering, flashing, joyriding and arson.
All waterways are currently being tested for toxicity levels, once one is found that
can support human life, swimming events will be organised, please note that the
Synchronised Swimming event for this year will comprise of dropping acid and
watching all the funky ripples on the pool, the specific musical support to this
event will be provided by "The Verve."
A safe route has yet to be decided.
MEN'S 50KM WALK
Unfortunately this will have to be cancelled as the police cannot guarantee the
safety of anyone walking the streets of Liverpool, especially anyone that
appears to be... mincing
THE CLOSING CEREMONY
Entertainment will include formation rave dancing by members of the Bootle
Health in the Community anti-drug campaigners, synchronised rock throwing, and
music by the Toxteth community choir. The flame will be extinguished by police riot
water cannon following the inevitable pitch invasion by confused Liverpool FC
organised hooliganism club. The stadium itself will then be boarded up before the
local athletes break into it and remove all the copper piping and the central
(as posted by carly last year )
Highlight the yellow writing. ROFL.antdevil78 said:That is soooooo last year man!!!!!!
Amazin what cut and paste can do.