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Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God went missing for six days.

Eventually, Michael the archangel found him, resting on the seventh day. He
inquired of God, "Where have you been?"

God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through
the clouds, "Look Michael, look what I've made."

Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?"

"It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put LIFE on it. I'm going to call it Earth and
it's going to be a great place of balance."

"Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused.

God explained, pointing to different parts of Earth, "For example, North America
will be a place of great opportunity and wealth while South America is going to
be poor. Over there I've placed a continent of white people and over there is a
continent of black people."

God continued, pointing to different countries. "This one will be extremely hot and
arid while this one will be very cold and covered in ice."

The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to a small, populated area
in the landmass of Great Britain and said, "What's that?"

"Ah," said God. "That's Greater Manchester, the most glorious place on Earth.
There are beautiful lakes, rivers, streams, and hills, great music and world
dominating football teams. The people from Greater Manchester are going to be
modest, intelligent and humorous and they're going to be found travelling the
world. They'll be extremely sociable, hard-working and high-achieving, and they
will be known throughout the world as diplomats and carriers of peace."

Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed, "What about
balance, God? You said there would be balance!"

God replied wisely, "Wait until you see the lazy, thieving bastards I'm putting next
to them in Merseyside."
 
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