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The Tantrums of Wayne
Running on Sky television at the moment is a show called Wayne Rooney's Street Striker. In it, England's principal footballing talent fronts a series of challenges designed to test the skills of the country's back street players.
As Rooney conducts his search, what a contrast there is between the presenter and the contestants, between the wannabes and the superstar. While they are all ****sure swagger and streetwise lip, he looks lost, a shy, self-conscious presence who appears to wish he were anywhere other than in front of a camera.
Compare that to his demeanour on Wednesday night at Old Trafford. There was no hint of the ingénue in need of an arm round the shoulder as Manchester United played out their dead rubber Champions League tie with Aalborg. It was almost impossible to reconcile him with his screen persona as Rooney flew into one of his moods, stamping and snorting and looking as if he might combust at any moment.
Midway through the first half he tangled in the centre circle with his opponent Kasper Risgard. The Dane's was a clumsy challenge, but Rooney's response was not that of the shy wall flower. As he climbed to his feet, the United forward appeared to thrust his studs into Risgard's chest.
It was a response not only inappropriate to the circumstance, it was potentially hugely self-destructive: right in the middle of the pitch there was every chance the referee would see and be obliged to flourish the red card. After all, this assault was significantly more violent in its intent than the hack at Ricardo Carvalho that saw him dismissed in the 2006 World Cup quarter final.
The ref, though, was following play and missed it. How he escaped the official's notice is something that the assessor's panel will no doubt address when they are presented with the visual evidence. The rumour emanating from Uefa is that retrospective action will be taken.
Aggression is an essential part of a footballer's armoury. Nobody succeeds in the hurly burly of the modern game by politely ceding possession. Every manager craves a player who will fight for the cause.
Alex Ferguson has had more than his fair share of those with a willingness to scrap. It was there in Mark Hughes, once sent off for kicking a Sheffield United player up the backside. It was there in Paul Ince and Roy Keane. And most of all it was there in the person of Eric Cantona.
The Frenchman made much mileage out of the manner in which two sides of his nature - the skilled magician and the intemperate thug - were in opposition. His claim was that you could not have one without the other: in order to deliver the skill, he had to play with a fire in his belly.
The problem too often with Cantona was that out of control fire compromised the skill: he could not help the cause when sitting in the stand serving a suspension. And so it is with Rooney. There is no question he is a wonderful player, whose skill and energy can transform a game. Not to mention his goals.
But he also has a propensity to anger which means this Saturday he will be absent from the fray at Tottenham. When the UEFA panel has studied videos of Wednesday night, the chances are he will be back watching from afar come the knock-out stages of the Champions League.
So what does Ferguson do to temper the player's temper without losing his spirit? He is now 23, too old for the claim that he will mature out of it. Something needs to be done. But you cannot lobotomise talent. And giving Rooney a dressing down might be pointless. As his screen persona indicates, the lad is so quiet off the pitch, he would simply agree with anything that was said the quicker to terminate confrontation.
The solution may lie in the most unlikely source. When Cantona returned from his record suspension served after assaulting a fan in 1995, he was never again even shown a yellow card, never mind a red. He played for 18 months without once allowing the fire to rage out of control. Subsequently he has said he was convinced every time he went out to play that he would erupt, and is sure that he would have done so eventually.
But the fact is, Ferguson's most temperamental player controlled his urges. Maybe he could help his successor, give the player practical advice from a position of strength. It is worth a try. Because if it is allowed to run unchecked Rooney's aggression can only ultimately hurt himself, an opponent and more to the point, his team.