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· Registered
5,601 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
You got to love this programme. Always informal, mostly fun and good for a great laugh.

Jeff: "Welcome to todays Soccer Saturday, FA Cup day. We have here in the studio today Paul Merson, won the FA cup with Arsenal. Phil Thompson lifted the FA Cup with Liverpool in 1974. Paul Walsh has lifted the FA Cup also. Matt Le Tissier - what are you doing here?"

Jeff: Lets go to see what Sam Allardyce is doing to cope with the pressure of being a manager with Newcastle. The fans walked out before the end the other day!


Jeff: Like I'm under pressure! Lets go now to Newcastle and Sam Allaradyce. Er, ok, right - we won't bother with Big Sam ......................................

Jeff: Newcastle are after Wes Brown which would be a perfect buy for them, Newcastle Brown!!! *groans*

· Registered
5,601 Posts
Discussion Starter · #6 ·
They are talking about the crowd at OT now and why can't they scream and shout when they are sitting down. It was mentioned that when Rugby is played at OT the crowd stand and are allowed to stand; why can't the United fans?

Jeff obliged by sitting in his chair and screamed "COME ON! - see I can do it!!"

· Smeghead Moderator
13,814 Posts
From the Jeff Stelling Fan Club Website (they had their last AGM in my hometown!)

The Jeff Stelling Super Special Soccer Saturday Drinking Game...

Current Rules:

- Everytime a goal is scored:- 1 shot of beer
- Every sending off:- 1 shot of Jager (or substitute)
- Half time:- Absolutley no alcoholic beverages may be imbibed during this period.
- Whenever Chris Kamara is talking:- You must be drinking
- Whenever Merson uses stupid rhyming slang (i.e."he's hit the beans on toast"!):- 1 shot of Jager
- In the second half, all teams can only be referred to by their nicknames:- Failure to do so results in a 3 beer shot penalty.
- Whenever Swindon Town appear on the vidiprinter: - Last person to shout out 'Mackerel' takes shot of Jager.
- Whenever Dundee appear on the vidiprinter:- Last person to shout out 'Football' takes shot of Jager.
- Everytime Phil Thompson says 'Stevie Gerrard':- 3 shots of beer.
- Everytime Jeff makes an 'A Trialist' joke:- 3 shots of beer.
- Everytime your team score:- 2 extra shots of beer
- Everytime Matty Taylor and 'Goal of the Season' are mentioned in the same sentence:- 1 shot of Jager
- Everytime Jeff calls Kenny Deucher 'The Good Doctor':- 1 shot of Whisky
- Any hint of racism (social or otherwise) from any of the pundits:- Quad bombs (4 jager+redbull) all round
- Everytime Hartlepool score a goal:- 3 shots of beer
- Everytime a pundit shouts off camera:- 2 shots of beer
- Everytime LeTiss is mentioned in connection with a takeaway: - 1 shot of Jager
- Whenever Chris Kamara says "its unbelievable Jeff", all drinks must be downed
- Everytime Jeff mentions "dancing in the streets of TNS: - 1 shot of jager
- Everytime Jeff says "its Doom and Gloom at..." - 1 shot of jager
- Everytime the team 'Keith' is referred to as just being one guy :- 1 shot of jager
- Everytime Brighton & Hove, or Daggers & Redbridge are jokingly referred to as two different teams playing the same oppo :- 1 shot of jager
- Everytime when Arbroath striker Kevin Webster scores and Stelling says "ohh, Sally will be pleased" :- 1 shot of Jager.
- Everytime anything bad happens to Craig Bellemy (injury, og, booked, arrested for assault etc.) :- 2 celebratory shots of the spirit of choice.
- Whenever Northampton Town appear on the vidiprinter, last person to shout out 'Cobblers' :- shot of Jager
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