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Like the title says a guy at uni showed me a site called bash.org that has all these funny chat transcripts.

All the transcripts ae from real conversations where people have said something funny and someone has logged the chat and posted it on this site.

All the transcripts are from a chat program called IRC. I don't use it, don't know what it is. Maybe it's American or you know it.

Anyhow I picked some of the best ones I could find that didn't swear too much and I have had to tone the language down. So... enjoy. :)

<Th3No0b> Im going to be the next hitler

<Th3No0b> Im going to kill all the jews and 1 clown

<RageAgainsttheAmish> why the clown

<Th3No0b> See? no one cares about the jews

<RageAgainsttheAmish> lmao


<Eticam> I was in biology class once, and the teacher said there was sugar in sperm

<Eticam> And a girl asked why doesn't it taste sweet then

<Eticam> When she realised what she said her face became red like a spanked monkey ass

<Eticam> Then the teacher said, because you taste sweetness with the front of your tongue, not the part of your tongue back in your throat

<Eticam> The girl started crying and left class ^^


<T-Wolf> man, my girlfriend left me for some guy named robert

<RdAwG20> you don't live in Hope mills do you?

<T-Wolf> ya, why man?

<RdAwG20> lol, just wondering, was her namne alisson?

<T-Wolf> you *CENSORED*


<kylev> BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

<kylev> hahahahaha

<kylev> some girl just came onto our floor

<kylev> and was yelling "sexual favors for anyone who does my sociology paper"

<kylev> i just asked her what the paper was about

<kylev> and she said the accomplishments and growth of feminism

<`Neo> bahahahaha


Rabidplaybunny87: Okay, so my neighbors officially hate me

GarbageStan23: why?

Rabidplaybunny87: Well, me, david and andrew were having a bonfire in the backyard, and we were making s'mores and all... and suddenly we here sirens, and see a firetruck turn into the street in front of us.

Rabidplaybunny87: So we all went running to see what was up, and our neigbor's house was on fire!

GarbageStan23: oh no!

Rabidplaybunny87: Yeah, and when we got there, the wife was crying into her husbands arms, and we were just kinda standing there, and then she saw us, and then like for 10 seconds, gave us the dirtiest look ever

Rabidplaybunny87: Turns out, we were still holding our sticks with marshmallows on it, watching the fire....

Rabidplaybunny87: talk about bad timing...


<cassius_clay13> so I was with my friend bryan the other night in a bar

<cassius_clay13> well he got really drunk and said he was gonna puke

<cassius_clay13> so i helped him walk to the toilet

<cassius_clay13> all the stalls were occupied

<emoti_conartist> lol

<cassius_clay13> bryan is a rugby player... so a big guy

<cassius_clay13> so he KICKS one of the stall doors open

<cassius_clay13> and there's this guy in there

<emoti_conartist> hahahahahaha

<cassius_clay13> and bryan throws up ALL OVER HIM

<cassius_clay13> then (this is genius) bryan thinks 'oh no... if i were doing my business and someone came in and was sick all over me, i'd want to beat him up... so i'd better hit him first'

<cassius_clay13> so he SMACKS this guy in the face

<cassius_clay13> and runs away

<cassius_clay13> imagine being that guy... WORST NIGHT OUT EVER


<death09>my girlfriend broke up with me and sent me pix of her and her new boyfriend in bed

<ktp753>ouch.

<death09>yeah.i sent them to her dad
 
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