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Discussion Starter #1
Healthy dose of offensive jokes, ENJOY!




What is a Yankee?
The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.

What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?
The position of the dirt bag.

Why is divorce so expensive?
Because it's worth it.

What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever.

What do lawyers use for birth control?
Their personalities.

What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
20 kgs.

What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
45 minutes.

What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
Through his chest with a sharp knife.

Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism.

Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and
good-looking? Because those men already have boyfriends.

What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? After a year,
the dog is still excited to see you.

What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of
driving.

A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead are all in year 9.
Who has the biggest boobs?
The blonde, because she's 18.

What's the difference between a porcupine and a police car?
A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.

What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant? "Are you
sure it's mine?"

Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Breasts don't have eyes.

What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the
other?
A speech impediment.

What's the difference between an Australian zoo and a English zoo? An
Australian zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage
along with... "a recipe.."

How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F... word? Get
another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!

What's the difference between a northern USA fairytale and a southern
USA fairytale? A Northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..."
A southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit..."

Why is there no Disneyland in China?
No one's tall enough to go on the good rides.
 
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A guy goes to the pub, and says to his friend, "you won't believe what happened. I was taking a short cut along the railway track, and I found a girl tied to it. I untied her, and then we had sex over and over again, all the positions, everything."

His friend replies, "That's great! Did you get a blow job?"

"No, I never found her head."
 

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What's the difference between a northern USA fairytale and a southern
USA fairytale? A Northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..."
A southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit..."

Why is there no Disneyland in China?
No one's tall enough to go on the good rides.[/QUOTE]

This Last 2 are the best lol

especially the 2nd to last

y'aall belive this shit?
 

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Discussion Starter #7
SALFORD RED said:
A guy goes to the pub, and says to his friend, "you won't believe what happened. I was taking a short cut along the railway track, and I found a girl tied to it. I untied her, and then we had sex over and over again, all the positions, everything."

His friend replies, "That's great! Did you get a blow job?"

"No, I never found her head."
Oh dear Hahahhaah

Yankee...could be interpreted to as um...relieving yourself.
 

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SALFORD RED said:
A guy goes to the pub, and says to his friend, "you won't believe what happened. I was taking a short cut along the railway track, and I found a girl tied to it. I untied her, and then we had sex over and over again, all the positions, everything."

His friend replies, "That's great! Did you get a blow job?"

"No, I never found her head."

thats was gross salford.. :eek: :eek: hahaha
 

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SALFORD RED said:
A guy goes to the pub, and says to his friend, "you won't believe what happened. I was taking a short cut along the railway track, and I found a girl tied to it. I untied her, and then we had sex over and over again, all the positions, everything."

His friend replies, "That's great! Did you get a blow job?"

"No, I never found her head."
That is ****ing brillant i nearly pissed my self laughing.:D
 

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A couple getting quite hot with the heavy petting... So the lad decides to chance his arm...

"Can I put the end in....?"

"Not yet, you know I'm still a virgin..."

"Go on, I'll only slip the end in?"

"I'm not sure..."

"Go on, just the end?"

"Okay then but just the end"

WALLOP...........

"I thought you were only going to put the end in?"

"Aye, the end nearest my b*llocks!!!"
 

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Jazz 16 said:
A couple getting quite hot with the heavy petting... So the lad decides to chance his arm...

"Can I put the end in....?"

"Not yet, you know I'm still a virgin..."

"Go on, I'll only slip the end in?"

"I'm not sure..."

"Go on, just the end?"

"Okay then but just the end"

WALLOP...........

"I thought you were only going to put the end in?"

"Aye, the end nearest my b*llocks!!!"
Mr Jazz :eek: :eek:

I thought better of you than this Mr :D
 

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SALFORD RED said:
A guy goes to the pub, and says to his friend, "you won't believe what happened. I was taking a short cut along the railway track, and I found a girl tied to it. I untied her, and then we had sex over and over again, all the positions, everything."

His friend replies, "That's great! Did you get a blow job?"

"No, I never found her head."
Hahahahahahahaha. Disgusting but great.
 
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