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Things that puzzle me

Hilarious...

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up every two hours?
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?
Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?
What is the speed of darkness?
Are there specially reserved parking spaces for "normal" people at the Special Olympics?
If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?
If it's true that we are here to help others, what are the others doing here?
Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?
Do you cry under water?
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Did you ever stop and wonder......

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze
these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"
Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's bum."
Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't
point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is?
Why does your Obstetrician, Gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway ?
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream??
If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? (This one kills me!!!!)
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from ?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Stop singing and read on . . . . . . . . . .

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at
you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

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lol the quizzical testicle one is great

why do people complain that things are always int he last place you look...of course they are because when you find it, you stop looking.
 

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Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?

Craicer lol I'm always doing that! But i always get up and wave it at the tv too
 

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They say they "slept like a baby" because they did not "wake up like a baby".
The deaf person would not be a hearer of that hearing.
...
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Darkness moves at the speed Light.
If quizzes are quizzical, tests are just tested.
 

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newtoneinsteinvn said:
They say they "slept like a baby" because they did not "wake up like a baby".
The deaf person would not be a hearer of that hearing.
...
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Darkness moves at the speed Light.
If quizzes are quizzical, tests are just tested.
surely tests are testing not tested
 
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Discussion Starter #14
Is a fly without wings called a walk??

Why dont sheep shrink when it rains??

Can vegetarians eat animal crackers??

When police arrest a mime do they tell hom "you have the right to remain silent" ??

What was the best thing BEFORE sliced bread??

Is it true cannibals dont eat clowns because they taste funny??

Why isnt phonetic spelled the way it sounds??

If nothing sticks to Teflon how do they get Teflon to stick to the pan???

If you are in a vehicle travelling at the speed of light what would happen if you switched on the headlights??
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the one about the tv remote, i press it harder to check that the sensor on the tv reads the remote and that the button is sensing pressure
 

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the phrase " slept like a baby" has nothing at all to do with the time a baby sleeps, its the sleep of peace, of absolute innocence and total trust.
 

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SALFORD RED said:
Is a fly without wings called a walk?? No it's called "in deep sh*t"

Why dont sheep shrink when it rains?? Because they eat plenty grass to blow themselves up again

Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?? Yes

When police arrest a mime do they tell hom "you have the right to remain silent" ?? Tell 'hom' or 'him' :p

What was the best thing BEFORE sliced bread?? Unsliced

Is it true cannibals dont eat clowns because they taste funny?? They don't because they make nice agreement with circus worldwide not to - they then get a % of ticket sales for not doing so ;)

Why isnt phonetic spelled the way it sounds?? It is

If nothing sticks to Teflon how do they get Teflon to stick to the pan??? It's all in the molecules ;)

If you are in a vehicle travelling at the speed of light what would happen if you switched on the headlights?? It stays dark
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There you go ... :p
 
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