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Discussion Starter · #28 ·
Wayne's World - Diary Entry #4

Back again….

…it's been a crazy few weeks as usual since Colleen and I have been back from our honeymoon.

She's been talking to the film producer we met at a disco in Las Vegas – he wants to make a movie star out of me! Yes,…… me! And he even promised to work Colleen into the scripts, so she can eventually become a star too.

He started talking business immediately and as my agent hadn't flown out with us to America, Collen volunteered to handle negotiations.

*sigh* what would I ever do without me sweet angel, Colleen? She just wants the best for me and never sees anything as an inconvenience as long as it benefits me.

The film producer asked Colleen, if she wanted to continue the negotiations in his limosine, because it was so lound in the disco and before I could say anything, she put her finger on my lips and told me she wouldn't have a word of my protests and that she would gladly sacrifice a night on the dance floor for a life-time of us being successful. Before I could utter a single word, they we running off to do their negotiating. God, I love that girl.

They are still negotiating though and I'm not happy with the scripts we have received so far – they all have corny Christmas themes. Some of the titles for my international film debut include:

- Santa Scouse, the night Christmas was stolen
- Roodolf, the red-nosed *****r
- Wayne's Girth, the festive season never ends

They all stink!
To help expedite the negotiations, Colleen had me buy the best web cam from Apple called the iSight. She feels negotiations will be more intense, when they can see each other more clearly.

It totally makes sense to me.

On footballing matters, the transfer window is closing soon and we haven't signed anyone besides that youngster from Roma, named Davide Petrucci.

This guy on my favourite Man Utd forum was saying we should sign Ronaldinho, because the triple threat of Carlos Tevez, Ronaldinho and I would be so ugly that it would scare defenders. – Hardy har har .... I bet that bloke thinks he's funny. He even suggested that kids would have to be sat further away from the pitch to avoid traumatizing. Smart ass!

Listen, I totally resent that! There is no way on God's green earth that Carlos and I are as ugly as Ronaldinho, OK?!?!

Ronaldinho is so ugly that even his mama would have struggled to love that face and I know for a fact that my mom doesn't find it hard to love me.

Speaking of transfers, Ronaldo decided to stay on with us and not join Real Madrid and all of us couldn't be happier!

To welcome him back and ease some of the tension, we all chipped in to order a Real Madrid jersey with his name and the number 7 on the back, but with the number 7 crossed out.

The effect was amazing - Ronaldo was so touched by the gift that he started crying like a baby.

What a sweet and sensitive guy!

Rio went over to console him, but as soon as he touched Ronnie, we heard him screaming like a girl. Cristiano wouldn't tell us what was wrong, but he wouldn't let us touch him and he kept staring over his shoulder to where Sir Alex was standing.

Funnily enough, Fergie just had a big grin on his face and winked at Ronaldo.

…..it's nice to know I'm not the only one.

Speaking of which, I saw Frazier Campbell coming out of Lord Ferguson's office the day before the Newcastle game and he was walking in a very peculiar manner.

I was worried he might have injured himself and thought he had just been to the gaffer's office to share the bad news.

But when I saw him standing next to me - fighting fit - at the kick-off against Newcastle, I understood that we all have our own way of getting into the starting eleven.

The Newcastle game was uneventful and quite bad to be honest. The best thing about the game was that it ended.

We need a tall, strong centre forward badly and I hope we sign Dimitar Berbatov. It's not that he's particularly good, but because I find that he looks like a mouse!

With his hair behind the hair band and his facial features, he really does look like one and I'm hoping to start songs on Man Utd sites about
“The scouse and the mouse!â€.

I know, I know – you're thinking: “Sheer genius! Why couldn't I think of that?!â€
Well, if you could, you'd be Wayne Rooney, wouldn't you? ;)

Right, I'm off to do a bit of surfing on my favourite ManUtd forum. It would seem like there's a bit of drama going on there.

I don't really want to get involved – I just hope it gets sorted out soon, otherwise it's going to become as boring as the forum on the official man utd site! Plus I really miss the guy, who can knock out shire horses with his farts from fifty paces……
 

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RedForceRising said:
…
To welcome him back and ease some of the tension, we all chipped in to order a Real Madrid jersey with his name and the number 7 on the back, but with the number 7 crossed out.

The effect was amazing - Ronaldo was so touched by the gift that he started crying like a baby.

What a sweet and sensitive guy!

Rio went over to console him, but as soon as he touched Ronnie, we heard him screaming like a girl. Cristiano wouldn't tell us what was wrong, but he wouldn't let us touch him and he kept staring over his shoulder to where Sir Alex was standing.
lmao at this bit :D
Great to have Wayne's World back. Cheers RFR ;)
 

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Discussion Starter · #39 ·
Once again, thank you all very much.

I'll try to make the next one funnier. Maybe i have to give the recurring themse a rest in the next one and focus on some of the funnier characters around old trafford.

I keep saying it, but this time I'll really try to update this sooner.
 
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